Dear Heathcliff
I went on holiday a few months ago with Ryanair. While mid flight I went to use the toilet and was stopped by a very attractive young women, she wispered in my ear ‘would you like to join the mile high club?’ I asked how much it would cost me? She slapped me round the face and said ‘what do you think I am?’ and walked off as if she was insulted. I have since discovered what the Mile High Club is - have I missed the chance of a lifetime. Michael in East Clare.

Ryanair have toilets now! Wow, they’re coming up in the world. But as for you Michael, it’s good to know that there is (was) still innocence in the world. I don’t think you’ve missed the chance of a lifetime here - I mean, you’re hardly going to marry someone after a quickie in the jacks of a grotty plane. Anyway, sex on planes in uncomfortable when it happens and really uncomfortable afterwards when you have to do the ultimate walk of shame. The only positive thing is to be able to brag to your mates. And you’ve just done that haven’t you.

To hear more from Heathcliff check out www.clarepeople.com/interactive

Dear Heathcliff,
Christmas is coming and my purse is getting skinnier and skinnier. I’m going out with a fella who I don’t really love but is good craic. We have fun but he’s definitely not a keeper, ya know? I’m running short on cash, and with the Christmas coming up I wonder should I give him the flick and save the money from his present? At the same time, it’s always nice to have someone to kiss on New Years Eve. Shaz.
I think you’re missing a trick here Shaz. Why not make a deal with your bloke not to buy each other Christmas presents this year. There is a very good chance that he will buy you a present anyway, just to surprise you (guys get like that around Christmas time), and you can save money, get a present and have someone to snuggle when the ball drops on 2007. Perfect. I would just make sure that this guys feels the same way as you about your relationship though. If he sees it as a bit of fun, then buying you a present is his own business. But, if he thinks you guys have a future, well, that makes thing a bit more complicated. Once you are straight with him, just sit back with a clean conscience and let the gifts roll in!

If you think you can do better than our Heathcliff, then offer your ‘brilliant’ advice by commenting below. Or see more from Heathcliff at www.clarepeople.com/interactive

Dear Heathcliff,
I want to know what my boyfriend gets up to on the Internet. I think he is talking to girls on line or maybe even worse than that. He works in a pub on Saturday evenings and I stay in his house all weekend. I know he’s up to something. Is there any kind of programme or small equipment that tracks this? M in Ennis

Attention everyone, bunny boiler in the house. What are you thinking about here M. It sounds to me like you have let you insecurities run away with all you cop-on. When you get to the point when you want to track him on-line, then a break-up is probably long overdue. If you are uncomfortable or worried about something, talk to him. If your still not happy after that, then maybe the time has come to kick this guy to touch. I mean even if he is up to something, tracking him on line is not the way to go.

THIS IS BUT A SAMPLE OF HEATHCLIFF'S PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS. TO GET WEEKLY UPDATES, SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BLOG - IT'S FREE! SUBMIT YOU QUESTIONS BELOW OR GO TO THE HORSES MOUTH AT WWW.CLAREPEOPLE.COM/INTERACTIVE.