10:00 PM - Untitled 2.


I don't even know where to start.
I'm lost, confused, a little unknown, I guess.
There's so much out there.
So many trials.
They defeat me.
Leave me broken, torn, and dead.
I try to keep strong.
But I'm corroding.
I used to be the butterfly.
The happy one.
Now, I'm the broken one.
It's hard when the person you need most is gone.
Gone?
No, too busy.
Everything's so close, but it's so out of reach.
Every night, before bed, I think.
I think about the hardships.
And the scars they leave behind.
I hear what they say about me.
I know what they think.
There's a purpose behind my pain.
A purpose behind everything I do.
Every line I write.
The sincerity fades.
You ridicule me.
Humiliate me.
Kick me while I'm down.
Yet, as unloving as you are,
I still love you.
Call me crazy.
Insane even.
Do I care?
Oh I do.
I just won't show it.
You don't deserve the pleasure of seeing me at my worst.
I survived it the first time.
I have the courage to do it again.
"I'm on flight.
The seatbelt light flashes.
I don't fasten it.
I feel dangerous.
Maybe God will save my soul tonight.
As my world plummets,
I keep my hopes.
High.
You were wrong.
I was wrong.
Let's start over.
I'll take the first jump.
If I don't survive,
You'll know I died in hope.
And when I visit you in dreams,
You'll know it's you I believe in.
You are my hero.
The person to save me.
Love me.
Even hold me."
I awake from this dream.
It was never real.
It's been the thing I've hoped for.
Every morning before school.
After every wound healed.
And every night as I lie down to sleep.
I live to make you proud.
Try to, anyway.
And one day, I'll watch the sunset.
Way beyond the clouds.
I'll feel the warmth of your love.
The embrace of your arms.
And the thought of a day with you.
Again.

She hurts herself. I don't think she knows why she does it. I believe it's because she hopes that they'll see her wounds. Cutting is for those too coward to kill themselves. I'd say she's the biggest coward I've ever met. She can reach her anti-depressants by taking two steps. Will 2 do the job? Or maybe 4? She wishes she could know. She likes to push the boundaries until she cracks. This will take it too far. She doesn't have the strength to take her life.

I can smell the fresh blood escaping from her wounds. She only bleeds to feel the pain. Her scars will never heal, she cuts them too deep. She needs help, she knows it, but something inside her wants to keep harming herself. She'll say her prayers tonight and hope God is listening, because she doesn't know how much more she can take