What a very very strange and terrifying person you are...

Here cums Santa Claus, Here cums Santa Claus, Right down Mrs. Claus' Throat, Shes a vixen, dirty girl, pulling on his chote, His balls are throbbing while he's sobbing, With a smile thats ear to ear, takes off her stockings, and get rocking, Cuz Santa Claus cums tonight!

Here cums Santa Claus, Here cums Santa Claus, Right down Mrs. Claus' Throat, Shes a vixen, dirty girl, pullin on his vein, His balls are throbbing while he's sobbing, With a smile thats ear to ear, takes off her stockings, and get rocking, Cuz Santa Claus cums tonight!

To be Sung To the Tune oF "Let it Snow" by Bing Crosby "Let Her Blow" by Captain Hooker Oh the face on her head is frightful, but her ass is soooo delightful, and since she can't keep a beau, let her blow, let her blow, let her blow. Her hair is good for mopping, and her zits could use a popping, but the lights are turned WAY down low, So let her blow, let her blow, let her blow. When I finally bust my nut, I will probably run out the door, because she's such a lonely slut, I can always come back to get more! If your libido is quickly building, and you need an ass for drilling, But her face is just so-so, Let her blow! Let her blow! Let her blow!

To Be Sung to the tune of "Mr. Sandman"- The Chordettes (1951) "Captain Hooker" (First Draft) Captain Hooker, I have a Dream, My girl's the prudest , that i've ever seen, She keeps her lips, closed over and over, Tell me my lonesome nights are over, Capt Hooker, I'm so alone, dont have no prostitute to call on the phone Please show me her magic beams, Capt Hooker I need to cream! Capt Hooker, I need a whore, make her so dirty, she always wants more. She wont be bothered, I'm Hung LIke a Tic-Tac, when i cum in her, its through the back. Capt Hooker, i need a tramp, someone who sees me,and gets real damp. Give her two cans, the size of a buick, a girl with a brown eye, i'd want to lick. Capt Hooker, I need to nut, Someone with, a nice round butt. Tell her to bring some vaseline. Capt Hooker, Help Me, PLEASE PLEASE help, cuz Capt Hooker, I NEED TO CREAM! yum yum yum yum yum yum yum , i am going to cum.

CH Enterprises has added "mothergooseme.com" and "faceguck.com" to their holdings! YAY!

Early warning. . . . Captain Hooker: The XXX-Mas Album will be Cumming Soon to a store near you! Old favorites like : "Noel , Noel . . . When I see you I swell". AND The mandatory "Jingle Balls" , And Dont forget. . . ."Here Cums Santa Claus, Here Cums Santa Claus, Right down Mrs. Claus Throat"