"Your bike costs more than your car"

"You hear Phil Liggett's voice in your head when making a move on some cutie in the bar."

"You use hand signals when driving your car."

"You can perfectly pronounce several words in Italian, french or any other langauge which make no sense to anyone else!!
- Maillot Jaune
- Director Spotif
- Alessandro Petacchi
- Djamolidine Abdoujaporov
- You can understand what Sean Kelly is saying in an interview."

You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young woman ride by, and the first thing you check out is her bike!!!"

"You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats to allow your bike(s) to fit."

"You are driving along, and suddenly the car in fronts pulls away - you accelerate to close the gap..."

"You draft people around the office, then sprint from behind to get to the photocopier first."

"You can tell your other with a straight face that its too hot to mow the lawn then take off and ride a 100kms."

"Stay means a different thing to you than it does to the dog trainer next door."

"You tell a family of 5 in a crowded mall to "hold their line."

Your spouse says "If you buy another bike I'm going to leave you" and you think "I guess I'm going to miss him/her."

"You have more water bottles than you have drinking glasses."

"You have more cycling jerseys than work shirts."

"Your cycling jersey IS your work shirt."

"The nicest pair of shoes you own have cleats in the soles."

"You have defined the 8 stages of roadkill decomposition through daily observation."

"You are walking along a street and you signal left/right."

"You go to your local store on a bike."

"You sulk when in cars, on perfect days."

"You sulk when in cars, on cold, windy, snowy days."

"You get withdrawal symptoms if off the bike for more than a day."

"When anybody mentions distance you immediately think of how long it would take to cycle it."

"You point at pot holes, but you are driving in your car alone."

"You point at pot holes, but you are driving in your car alone."

"Your hands have a strange tan that looks remarkably similar to the pattern on your cycling gloves."

"Weather forecasts can be broken down into 2 categories: good training/biking weather, bad training/biking weather."

"You put your bicycle in your car, and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better)."

"You find out you are going to have a child and the first thing you think about is how you will schedule your rides to avoid divorce and still be a parent."

"You spend 2X the money on cycling wear that you do work clothes."

"You dream of winning the lottery and the first thing you think of is how many/which bikes can I buy?"

"You open your car window and yell out "On your left" when passing cars on the freeway."

"You have not one, not two, but three permanent chain ring scars on your right calf."

"Your bike sleeps with you in the living or bedroom."

"You wear a heart rate monitor during sex."

"Your spouse can't take it anymore and takes up cycling."

"You wonder why a $500 bike has 24 gear ratios, while a $20,000car or truck only has 4."

"You crash...and insist on getting to the bike shop to have your bike checked out BEFORE going to the hospital."

"You can't seem to get to work before 8:30am, but you don't have a problem meeting your buddies at 5:30am for a ride."

"You don't think twice about spending hundred's of dollars on cycling shoes, but scrimp on work shoes."

"You spend more on a bike tyre than you would on a car tyre."

"You complain that the other half is spending money on Gossip magazines ut you have a subscription to every bike mag published and keep them for years, Just in case you need to look something up"

I know no-one red this lol