YOUR A TRUE MEXICAN IF...
1)You have ever been hit by a chancla.
2) *You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy."
3) *Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking,
4) *You use your lips to point something out.
5) *You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis."
6) *Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
7) *You can dance ranchera, cumbia, or salsa without music.
*You call your sneakers "tenees."
9) *You have at least thirty cousins.
10) *You can't imagine anyone NOT liking spicy food.
11) *You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting, "SUBANSE, TODAVIA CABEN!"
12) *Tamales, champurrado, posole y menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.
13) *There is more Tequila than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.
14)*There is at least one member in your family named Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.
15) *You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
16) *You have a drunk uncle/aunt.
17) *You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
1 *You have ever had to tell your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
19) *You go to a wedding or Quinceanera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first one to take a plato to go.
20) *You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse or back pocket.
21) *Your cousins are delinquets/hootchies..
22) *You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.
23) *You need to point out how much something you just bought cost
24) *You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.
25) *You're laughing right now because some of these things have actually happened to YOUR ASS!
26) *You're proud to be MEXICAN and you pass these jokes on to all your MEXICAN friends

-A simple bitch will take you where you need to go. -Areal bitch throws you the keys & says it needs gas.
-A simple bitch will tell you not to fight, it aint worth it. -A real bitch will say beat her ass & look at the crowed and say
"nobody better jump in!!"
-A simple bitch wonders who your new man is. -A real bitch knows that mutha fuckers 1st name, last name, his bday, where he lives, who hes related 2, what kinda car he drives, where he works, how many babies mamas he has,& how many bitches hes tlkn 2.
-A simple bitch will let another bitch know she can back the fuck up or get knocked the fuck out. -A real bitch will just knock her the fuck out!
-A simple bitch tells you when you had enough 2 drink. -A real bitch tells you we need another shot, we about 2 get fucked up!
-A simple bitch reads this and relizes shes a simple bitch & deletes it. -A real bitch passes this 2 her real bitches without even thinking about it!