CANCER
Great Kisser. Very high sex appeal.
GREAT in bed. Most horny.

Clearly brains are not a requirement for international soccer players.
Here are a few quotes:

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
- David Beckham

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
- Mark Viduka

'We lost because we didn't win.'
- Ronaldo

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.'
- Neville Southall

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.'
- Ronnie Whelan

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.'
- Ade Akinbiyi

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
- Stuart Pearce

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.'
- David Beckham

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.'
- Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
- Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
- Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
- Stan Collymore

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
- Ian Wright

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
- Ugo Ehiogu

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.'
- Jonathan Woodgate

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.'
- Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
- Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.'
- Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.'
- Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.'
- David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more European.'
- Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
- Mitchell Thomas

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
- Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
- Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' -
- Johnny Giles

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.'
- Richard Rufus

' There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.'
- Gary Lineker

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
- Thierry Henry

15 Damned Good Reasons Why GAA Is Better Than Soccer





>1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be
>teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday
>morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning
>about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his
>personalised brand of leisure wear
>
>2) GAA nicknames are better. Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames
>
>3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to
Ronaldo
>or Sibierski
>
>4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer
>eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does
>it
>
>5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the
pub
>
>
>6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew
>
>7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery
>results
>
> All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets
>
>9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA
>
>10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like
>
>11) No segregation at GAA games
>
>12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of
>Carlow
>
>13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park
>
>14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty
>
>15) Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Sam!!