Lewis: I've got a lot of time for McDonalds....I've got a lot of time for [insert item of the moment here...]
Me: You're going to have a lot of time for everything this month aren't you

Sarah: You hurt my head
Me: You hurt my wallet

Lewis: I'm sooo lost without Kimmy
Sarah: Get a map

*Lewis eating a snowball whole*
Me: Lewis.....swallow.........

Me: But...I've got work in the morning!
Lewis: But fuck

*Me trying to get my sleeve up*
Sarah: He can't get it up fully

*Lewis trying to get the sauce out*
Lewis: I'll give it one good bang and it'll go everywhere

Me: I'll buy a pack of 10, give you 1 and Lewis 9
Lewis: So you'll need to buy a pack of 11 then

*Watching the dolphin fountain in the Trafford Centre*
Me: Come onnn....squirt another one out....puuuush!
Lewis : It's a lot bigger than I remember it
Me: Look! It's squirting!
Lewis: In all fairness, it can squirt a fair distance
Me: ...and that's just a single load!
Lewis: 1 2 3...THREE BIG SQUIRTS
Me: Woooow..! Who'd go see boyzone over that!
Lewis: Hm..Boyzone...or 3 squirts..
Me: I dunno...the girls might be a bit disappointed if there's only three squirts...
Lewis: Well if they wait there is another three...it goes all day, but just needs a little break. And if they stand right next to it, they might be lucky enough to get three splashes as wel!

Lewis: This fountain got a bit carried away..
*Youtube video of bubbles in a fountain*
Me: We should WELL have done that
Lewis: What, and have a load of white stuff squirting everywhere?
Me: Yeahhh
Lewis: People would have got covered!

Lewis: I'm just waiting to get onto the big ones. They're easier to put out

Me: Can I take a picture of the silver balls label to go with Kimmy's bits?

Me: A ball pool with no balls?
Lewis: You can buy a ballbag though

Lewis: You can get a high speed pump as well
Me: A slow speed pump just wouldnt be worth it
Lewis: ....for adults use only

Sarah: Graeme....will you buy me some friends?

Me: Best stick with a goldfish..
Lewis: Yeah, it can't attack me! Though I'm sure it would find a way
Me: It might suck you

Me: She'll be gagging for one after a whole month. In fact, she'll be gagging for many things

Lewis: She wants to have your babies!
Me: I'll tell her where she can shove it
Lewis: I'd hope she would know where to shove it

Lewis: We could go dancing!
Me: Could we fuck

Lewis: Thats no fun....I'm buying you a slap!

Me: Alright doll!
Mum: I dont like being called doll...it's like being called hen...I dont like being called hen...
Me: Oh....... Alright Hen!
Mum: Alright Cock
Me: *chokes* eh..no....

Me: Are ya on early or late?
Lewis: Mid
Me: Mid...what's mid...
Lewis: I'm in the middle of the other two guys.......... WAIT!!

Me: Gutted I can't go blow some money at the races
Lewis: Oh dear

*Lewis talking about his rear view mirror falling off*
Lewis: I was unamused by the minor incident earlier
Me: At least you didn't have Sarah whacking yours off!!
Lewis: Oh dears...

Lewis: I'm looking for somethin in a function room........with a bar
Me: A table?
Lewis: I hate you...

Lewis: Do u have a 12inch ruler?
Me: I miiiight have...why...
Lewis: Cos i wanna see how big it is
Lewis: WAIT
Me: Oh my
Lewis: Scrap all that!
Me: hahahaha
Lewis: Altho 9inches wood do....
Me: For what?!
Lewis: I just need to see how long it is...



Words of the moment...
Spalsh, Squelch, Squirt, Slurp

He looks a bit like a mincer

Right - where do ya want it?
Just shove it right in there

Oh, that's a big 'un ain't it?

They're waving bananas all around the place!
Glad I'm not a 5 a day man then

*Shrieks from the meeting room*: OH!
Me: ohhh
Julie: I'm saying nothing

Andrew: You don't like cream?
Stuart: No, I'm a milkman

I grabbed a few bananas in the meeting room

Have a banana. No, have a few bananas

I can't move for all the bananas!

Gary: Are you not having lunch today?
Julie: No, i'll be gone soon
Gary: God bless you Julie, can i have your cd collection when you're gone?