The real Israel...
• Israel is the only country on Earth that deliberately targets civilian infastracture and justifies it.

• Israel stands unique in using human shields in military operations.

• Amongst all the countries on earth, Israel is the only country that has legalised torture, that 90% of all detainees experiance.

• Israel is the only country that publicly jails activists and peacefull politicians without trial, thus allowing the people no other option than violence.

• According to the Guinness book of records, Israel holds the record in the number of days of curfew she instilled on the Palestinians.

• Israel is exceptional in being the only country on whose checkpoints patients die due to denied access to hospitals. They also openley shoot at Palestinian ambulances

• Israel is one of two countries, that against international law, use cluster bombs and depleated uranium bombs


• Israel, despite being a rich country, recieves the highest financal aid, more than the sum of ALL aid to sub saharan africa.

• Israel is the only country in the Middle East with nuclear weapons (ATM), but the only country that refuses to sign the nuclear non prolifecleration treaty second to South Africa is Israel.

• Israel is the only current country to establish an aparthied regime.

• Israel is the only country on Earth that has a political party that publicly advocates ethnic cleansing of the native citizens.

• Israel is the only country that still has racist laws that discrimate against its native citizens.

• Israel was established upon the ruins of a nation she destroyed.PALESTINE.

• Israel claims its enemies want to wipe it off the map,but infact she has wiped a whole country off the map.PALESTINE.

• Israel has ethnically cleansed over 500 Palestinian Villages

• Israel holds the world record in the number of refugees she deported with over 4 million, who are not allowed to return home

• Israel is the country with the highest record of UN comdamnations with over 500, yet still recieves aid from the US and UK

• Israel is the country with the highest number of protective US security vetoes with over 100

• Israel has killed more innocent Civilians per capita than any other country

• Israel has imprisioned more civilians per capita than any other country.

• Israel has rendered more innocent civilians handicapped per capita than any other country. They also ran over two wheelchair bound men waving white flags in a tank.

• Israel is the only country on earth that denies Right of return of refugees.

...Yet Palestinians are the ones branded terrorists

Just back fae the Viceroy, ok fair enough they may go a wee bit over the top with the whole flying planes into skyscrapers and jeeps at the airport carry on, but hey we all do the odd daft thing now and again. They dont half do a good meal though and with alot better/happier service than any miserable british restaurant.

1. OPENING JARS - she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night" Grr, what does it look like.

10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11. USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15. CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.

16. WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."

20. PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.

21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"

24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shite.

25. CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate, I missed you while you were in hospital".