Pick the month (number) you were born in

1----I fell in love with
2----I ate a
3----I smacked
4----I sang to
5----I gave my number to
6----I killed
7----I shot
8----I gave a lap dance to
9----I choked on
10---I made out with
11---I had sex with
12---I stabbed

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a homeless guy
2-------a kebab
3-------a banana
4-------a sandwich
5-------a Mexican
6-------a stuffed animal
7-------a hooker
8-------a lamp
9-------my best friend
10-------a goat
11-------my dog
12-------a ninja
13-------the computer
14-------a football player
15-------my neighbour
16-------myself
17-------a soda
18-------a llama
19-------a baby
20------ a gangster
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my dad
23-------a chair
24-------my psychiatrist
25-------a policeman
26-------my brother
27-------my sister
28-------a baseball bat
29-------a DVD player
30-------a paperclip
31-------my cell phone

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White------Because I was high.
Black-------Because I was drunk.
Pink--------Because i was bored
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue--------Because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because I'm naked.
Gray--------Because I'm mentally disturbed.
Yellow------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 Euro
Shirtless---Because i was horny
Orange----Because I hate my family.
Brown-----Because i was hungry.
Other-----Because i'm gangsta

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

1. FIRST NAME? Andrew

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? nope. parents liked the name

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? last time i played the crying game.

4 DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? sometimes

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD? pigeon

6. KIDS? not in this country

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? ffs im not gay so no

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? what do u think

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yes

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? no

12. CATS OR DOGS? cats

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? no

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? mint

16. SHOE SIZE? 10

17. RED OR PINK? pink. / cherry and white

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my darts belly

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? who do you think?

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?hell no

21. WHAT COLOUR TROUSERS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? blue and no shoes

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? yoghurt

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Diamond Dogs.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? purple. slightly camp yet stil straight.

25. FAVOURITE SMELL? freshly cut grass

26. FAVOURITE BOOK? the complete molesworth

27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE TO WHOM YOU ARE ATTRACTED? how they dress and face

28. CURRENT FAVOURITE SONG? Different World by Iron Madien

29. FAVOURITE DRINK? Beer - Carona

30. FAVOURITE SPORT? Cricket

31. HAIR COLOUR? Brown

32. EYE COLOUR? Blue

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no

34. FAVOURITE COLOUR? blue

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? dont care

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the final Star Wars

37. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? im not

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer

39. HUGS OR KISSES? both.? both. but depends on person

40. FAVOURITE DESSERT? spotted dick. im not gay

41. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? im not gay

42. FAVOURITE PERSON? Sprague.

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? The Complete Molesworth and Penguins Stopped Play

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? well my leg is my mouse mat

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Al Murray.

46. FAVOURITE SOUNDS? Your Mother

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? neither

48. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? no idea

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? no

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 10 November 1991 Girven