DAY BY DAY AND NIGHT BY NIGHT
I TRY TO BE POSITIVE WITH ALL MY MIGHT
I FIGHT FOR LIFE, I FIGHT FOR ME
I FIGHT FOR THE DAY I WILL FINALLY BE FREE
I LIVE MY LIFE WITH MY EYES SO WIDE
I CANT DO IT ANYMORE, I FEEL SO TIRED
TRYING TO BE STRONG, MOVING ON FROM THE PAST
CANT HADLE ANYMORE, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH AT LAST
AFTER EVERYTHING, THAT HAS GONE WRONG
I JUST WANT SOMETHING GOOD TO COME ALONG
IVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN
WHEN WILL THIS PAIN FINALLY END
I AM ALWAYS SMILING VERY RARLY FROWN
NOMATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO BRING ME DOWN
I FIGHT AND FIGHT TO MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I AM NEVER EVER CRAPPY
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO CAUSE I CANT HANDLE ANYMORE
I FEEL SO WEAK TO WEAK TO PICK MYSELF UP OFF THE FLOOR
TEARS KEEP ROLLING DOWN MY FACE
MY HEART KEEPS POUNDING LIKE I HAVE RUN A RACE
I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AND FIGHTING TO NOT GET DOWN
I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE, NO SIGHT NO SOUND
EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT I WILL BE FINE
I HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH, I DRAW THE LINE!
I DONT WANT TO SIT HERE AND CRY WHY ME
BUT I GIVE UP, I THROW AWAY THE KEY
I CANT FIGHT ANYMORE, I HAVE NOTHING LEFT
I HAVE LOST ALL THE FAITH THAT IN MY HEART I KEPT
I DONT GET WHY I CANT FIND TRUE HAPPYNESS
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A LIFE OF SADNESS
I ACT LIKE IM A STRONG WOMAN BRAVING THE WORLD
BUT HONESTLY INSIDE IM JUST A SCARED LITTLE GIRL...
I HATE THIS FEELING BUT I CANT MAKE IT GO AWAY
I HAVE BEEN PUSHED OVER THE EDGE MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY
TOMORO I WILL GO OUT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE
INSIDE WISHING SOMEONE ELSE WOULD TAKE MY PLACE

Nomatter what direction my life goes I always pick myself up and make it better, I never let things get me down, I have been through a pretty fucked up past I have even gone through having cancer... but I have always been positive, I have never let any of it get me down so why cant I let this one thing go? why cant i accept that I cant have kids and i will never become a mother? I have known for so many yrs, 6 yrs in fact! yet everytime I think bout it my heart sinks and i feel sick to my stomach, I am so happy with my life at the moment but I cant help but feel empty, I cant help but feel asthough my life is incomplete and the hole will never be filled, how do people live a happy and fulfilled life without having a family? everynight before i go to bed i seriously pray that somehow someday I would fall pregnant... but I know it will never happen and you have no idea how much that kills me, I had a dream last night and I woke up feeling so great which is prob y i am sitting here feeling crap right now, my dream was short and sweet i was asleep in bed and my partner was asleep next to me and my daughter who was something like 2 and a half came in crying mummy so i picked her up and put her back to sleep, as i said it was short and sweet but holy crap it ripped my heart out so bad, I want to stop wanting a child, I need to stop wanting it... I need to stop needing a child to fill content. I know that I would make a great mother, I know that I would give my child a great life but I also know that I will never have the chance so seriously how do i accept it? how do i truelly be happy without having my own family? how do I fill that empty space?