We believe in one drink,
Guinness the almighty Makers of cans and bottles
Of all that is drunk and un-drunk
We believe in one brewer,
Arthur The only son of Guinness
Eternally begotten of the hops
Hops from hops, barley from barley True drink from true drink
Begotten not made Of one distillery of the Father
Through it all things were made
For us men and our salvation It comes down from St. James Gate
By the power of the market he became incarnate
And was made a rich man
For our sake we are crucified under Pontious Prices
Bad pints, suffer hangovers and A.A. meetings
On the next day we rise again in accordance
With our scruples and ascend into oblivion
We come again to judge the living and the dead
We believe in one alcoholic beverage

Brewed and bottled under one licence
We acknowledge one Arthur, son of the
almighty pint
Conceived i

Q. Why don't they have Christmas at CIT?
A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q. How can you tell if a CIT student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the CIT campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q. What's the first thing a CIT bird does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at CIT?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What does a CIT student call a UCC student after graduation?
A. Boss.

Q. Did you hear that the library at CIT burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the books weren't coloured-in yet.

Q. Why do CIT graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. How do you get a CIT grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. How many UCC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

Q. How many CIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead CIT student in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. If you see a CIT student on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q What do you have when 100 CIT students are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do CIT students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a CIT student. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the CIT student...twice.

Q. What do u call a CIT student in a suit?
A. The Defendant

Q. What do u call a UCC graduate in a suit?
A. The CIT student's lawyer

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Guy looks at his crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a
crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll
be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

38. nice shoes, wanna fuck?

39. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

40. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going, and going, and going....

41. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if i were on you i would be cuming too.

42. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby, you da bomb!!!

43. I have lost my number, can i have yours?

44. Excuse me? im new in town, can i have dirrections to your house??

45. Fuck me if im wrong, is your name Yodalina?

46. Hello, may i use your cell? my mother told me to phone home when i found the woman of my dreams

47. The word for the night is 'legs'; lets go back to my place and spread the word

48. Was your dad a farmer? cause you sure have great melons

49. Hi, my name is pogo, want to jump on my stick?

50. look at all those curves, and me with no brakes