I'm as sick as a small hospital
I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child
She had a face on her like a well slapped arse
You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
He's so camp, he sh1ts tent pegs
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
As busy as the dalkey dole office
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt
I left her with a face like a painters radio
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche
As fit as a butcher's dog
She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
Not even the tide would take her out
Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her
Daz wouldn't shift her
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
A sniper wouldn't take her out
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a
nettle
She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
Your one has an arse on her like two young fellas fighting in a tent
As small as a mouses tit
As thick as a cow's arse
As useful as tits on a bull
He'd get up on a cracked plate
She's get up on a stiff breeze
He's a few brassieres short of a whorehouse
He's as thick as pig-shite
I'd ate the arse of a a farmer through a tennis racket
I'd have to be dug out of her
I'd leave it rot in her
It was gas sraic altogether
I will in me hole!
I missed by a gee hair
A savage bit of arse/skirt
She had a head like a wey lump of turf
She has a face like a smacked arse
She was bet down with a shovel
Two sockets and no plug (lesbian)
he couldnt organise a piss up in a brewry/ orgy in a brothel
hes full of wind and piss
hes a brick short of a lorry load
hes a feather short of a ducks arse
my throat is dryer than an arabs fart
he's a tick as a double ditch
hows she gettin on
shit before de shovel
he wouldn't bate eggs
he could do wit a slap of a peter mark voucher
is she ridin??
That's a fine doorful of a woman.
She has a tongue that would clip a hedge.
That man would talk the teeth out of a saw.