The Way

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

Civvie Mates Vs Military Mates 172 days ago

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you are too busy to talk to them for a week
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after many years; and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having last time you met.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr and Mrs.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents Mum and Dad.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and then tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, 'Mate...we stuffed up ...but what a giggle?
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it is yours.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with a shed full of direct quotes from you.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the backsides of whole crowds that left you behind.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home, got any beer!'
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Share a few experiences.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Share a lifetime of experiences no civilian could ever dream of.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, 'You had better drink the rest of that, don't waste it. Then they carry you home and put you safely to bed.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock the crap out of people who use your name in vain.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know where you buried the body
MILITARY FRIENDS: Helped you bury the body
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will call you "mate" as a term of endearment
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will call you "Wanker" "Tosser" as a term of endearment
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life.
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will forward this to their military mates.