Physical Appearance
* Features are generally well balanced.

* Face is pleasant, even when angry.

* There may be a dimple in the chin or in the cheeks or knees.

* Charming smile

Appearance
The typical Libra man:
* is usually handsome, but is never ugly
* has a fine bone structure and balanced features
* has a clear and very charming voice
* dresses with discrimination in subtle colors
* is usually graceful and athletic
* likes to check his appearance in mirrors or as he passes a store window
Behavior and Personality Traits
* wants to make a visual impression that is appropriate to the task at hand, whether it be an international conference, a romantic assignation, or a day on the beach
* gives advice freely
* is interested in the opposite sex, at all ages
* is a master in the art of romance
* is very trustworthy
* can be fickle and change his mind often
* is interested in the facts of a situation so that he can come to a balanced decision
* enjoys art and needs harmony
* can be lavish with money, spending it on things that will bring happiness
* has financial abilities

Libra and Love
To Libra, love is all. He or she tends to fall in love with love itself and is eager to share life with the partner. The Libran ideal is a life that is filled with the peaceful, rosy glow of romance. Libra in love will have many of the characteristics listed below.


Behavior When In Love
The typical Libra:
* is emotionally dependant upon the partner
* is casual and easygoing
* enjoys romantic settings
* will ignore the partner's shortcomings in return for love
* does not want a partner who is overly demonstrative
* glows with love for the whole world
* will do anything to avoid hurting the loved one
* gives the loved one complete attention
Expectations
The typical Libra expects:
* to be supported and cared for
* faithfulness and loyalty
* to be free to get on with his or her work
* a partner to have his or her own separate interests
* to be amused
* to be admired and even exalted

5 Stages of Drunkness


Stage 1 - CLEVER:
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always
right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.

Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVE:
This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in
the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can walk up to a
perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH:
This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet.
You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you are still
CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person present.

Stage 4 - INVINCIBLE
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially
those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you
are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as well as being INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE:
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do
anything,because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason. You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words.

THE FIVE STAGES OF SOBERING UP

Stage 1 - STUPID:
As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache, the churning stomach and the cold sweats you realise that you have lost not only several
hours of your life but also the ability to concentrate on anything
whatsoever. You are now STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12
hours.

Stage 2 - UGLY:
Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror first
thing you are horrified to discover that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously thought possible. Not only have you bloodshot eyes and a
glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your
grandfather probably looks healthier. Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than to try and shave whilst shaking.

Stage 3 - POOR:
Having crawled out of bed and got dressed you are about to shamble out
the door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the traces of curry on your clothes allow the possibility that you
might have treated everyone to a takeaway at some point. Alternatively your
pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a
fifty-pound note by mistake. Rationalising that you couldn't possibly have been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to
believe that you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all
night and start to loathe all your friends.>

Stage 4 - FRAGILE:
As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, you are consequently FRAGILE
self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you.

Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS:
This is the final stage of sobe