“My dick is so big it graduated a year before me from high school!” said Drew Carey.
“Yeah? Well my dick is so big it was once overthrown by the military and is now known as the democratic republic of my dick!” Ryan countered. I looked at the two grown men in discus. You’d think they’d have grown up by age 40+ or at least got a hobby. We were all watching the football, but the commercials had started and now they were firing ‘big dick’ jokes at each other for a cheap laugh. I looked at Colin, who looked at me and shook his head in embarrassment. I turned to Greg, who I was leaning on with his arm around me and he raised an eyebrow at Ryan and Drew.
“My dick is so big there was a film once called Godzilla VS my dick!”
“My dick is so big that it was nearly drafted by the Cleveland browns but their star player didn’t want a bigger dick than him on the pitch!”
“My dick is so big, it only plays arenas!”
“My dick is so big Stephen Hawking has a theory about it!”
“My dick is so big cinemas have Pepsi in small, medium, large and MY dick!” This was getting stupid so I stood up and said,
“Look, we all know Greg’s dick is so big it has its own dick and his dick’s dick is bigger than both of yours so can you please shut the hell up!” Ryan and Drew looked at each other. “Right.... anyone want a beer?”
“I will!” Colin piped up.
“Me too,” said Greg. I looked at Ryan and Drew.
“Guys?”
“Were cool,” said Drew.
“K. I’ll be right back.” I leaned down and kissed Greg’s lips.
“I hope so....” Greg said with a grin. I pushed my black glasses up the bridge of my nose and went outside to the garage.
“I think the Proop-Dog going soft,” Ryan teased Greg. Greg held up his middle finger up and grinned.
“F--k you Ryan!” Greg joked.
“No thank you. I’m getting plenty.” Greg, Drew and Colin laughed. Ryan crinkled his eyebrows.
“What?” His friends continued to laugh. "Your such a dick Greg."
"I am," Greg agreed.
"What are you all laughing at?" I asked, coming back in, three beers in hand. I passed one to Colin.
“Nothing,” he told me. Greg reached up for his beer, but I moved it away.
“C’mon Jen, I’m dying!” Greg said. I leaned down so our faces were about an inch apart and smiled.
“Aren’t you going to give me something first?” Greg pouted a little. I raised my eyebrows and he French kissed me.
“Thanks for the visual Mr. Softie,” Ryan commented. I didn’t care. I just enjoyed the kiss and enjoyed rubbing it in his face that I was going out with his one of his best friends only two weeks after Ryan had ended our ‘fling’ in New York. Good job Greg didn’t know about us two use to go out.
“Your such a good kisser,” I whispered as I gave Greg his beer. I turned to Ryan. “And you’re a dick.” Ryan just smiled in that cicky way of his that made my blood boil.

The End.
XxXx

ladies and gents,

The aprentice started in 2005 and from the on has been a good watch. But personally i get fed up of watching bitchy girls and pathetic little rich guys fight it out to kiss sir alans ass. I havn't rooted for anyone ever becaue they have all been so awful. With the exception of Tre Azam, who I did fall for, even though, granted, he was a prick. He was damn strong character and an inspiration. The reson i am actually writing this is because this serise something out of the ordinary has happened.... Three ofthe candidates were desent human beings.

calling all aprent-a-fans! Lee McQueen, Simon Smith and Raef Bjayou stand out as three of the nicest, hard working guy to set foot in the board room. However, I think something has changed for the worst this serise....

Sr allan sugar is having a laugh. I did not want to beleive it at first and now I'm not so sure. I now beleive that sir alen is firing candidates and keeping the ones who are going to cause a scene to keep interest in his show. I was shocked and horrified when the lovely Simon smith was fired on week four. He did not desurve to go, Clair Young should have gone. To sir allans defence i could see why he mite make that desision, even if it was the wrong one. Simon Smith WAS too nice for the apprentice wich i think was also the case last night (week nine) when, to my horror, Raef Bjayou was fired after, i felt, a sucesful task. His team did not deserve to loose. Alex (who is utterly useless) did not manage his team. Lee did all the 'grafting' and pulled their team through even though his preasentation was poor, but if Lucinda had kept her nose out it would have been fine. She is starting to piss me off. I was for her at the begining but now she is just moaning ever single task without a reson. Raef entered the aprentice, socialy disjointed somehow. He looked like a posh boy rich type, who would never get one with someone like Lee or Alex or have a chat about footie, but he proved everyone wrong. I absolutly fell for Raef, when he got out of the car in his grey suit and pink shirt with the sun on his face.... Raef was an excelent leader and a true gentelman untill the end. He would not alow himself to fall to the bitching and out right lying standard that is so often asociated with the aprentice. He became one of the boys and did well to stand up for people who were been bullied and stand up for himself. Been fired on only your second time in the board room is an absolute load of bull as seen as Mr. Michael Sophocles has been in every week nearly.

Lawrence of A-Raef-Ia you will be missed. We love you! You legend!

All this aside, to quote Raef in a previous episode 'sir alen has made a desision' and i agree we should leave it now.

In conclusion I say:
C'mon Lee! you can win this my son!
XxXx

ladies and gents,

The aprentice started in 2005 and from the on has been a good watch. But personally i get fed up of watching bitchy guys and pathetic little rich guys fight it out to kiss sir alans ass. I havn't rooted for anyone ever becaue they have all been so awful. With the exception of Tre Azam, who I did fall for, even though, granted, he was a prick. He was damn strong character and an inspiration. The reson i am actually writing this is because this serise something out of the ordinary has happened.... Three ofthe candidates were desent human beings.

calling all aprent-a-fans! Lee McQueen, Simon Smith and Raef Bjayou stand out as three of the nicest, hard working guy to set foot in the board room. However, I think something has changed for the worst this serise....

Sr allan sugar is having a laugh. I did not want to beleive it at first and now I'm not so sure. I now beleive that sir alen is firing candidates and keeping the ones who are going to cause a scene to keep interest in his show. I was shocked and horrified when the lovely Simon smith was fired on week four. He did not desurve to go, Clair Young should have gone. To sir allans defence i could see why he mite make that desision, even if it was the wrong one. Simon Smith WAS too nice for the apprentice wich i think was also the case last night (week nine) when, to my horror, Raef Bjayou was fired after, i felt, a sucesful task. His team did not deserve to loose. Alex (who is utterly useless) did not manage his team. Lee did all the 'grafting' and pulled their team through even though his preasentation was poor, but if Lucinda had kept her nose out it would have been fine. She is starting to piss me off. I was for her at the begining but now she is just moaning ever single task without a reson. Raef entered the aprentice, socialy disjointed somehow. He looked like a posh boy rich type, who would never get one with someone like Lee or Alex or have a chat about footie, but he proved everyone wrong. I absolutly fell for Raef, when he got out of the car in his grey suit and pink shirt with the sun on his face.... Raef was an excelent leader and a true gentelman untill the end. He would not alow himself to fall to the bitching and out right lying standard that is so often asociated with the aprentice. He became one of the boys and did well to stand up for people who were been bullied and stand up for himself. Been fired on only your second time in the board room is an absolute load of bull as seen as Mr. Michael Sophocles has been in every week nearly.

Lawrence of A-Raef-Ia you will be missed. We love you! You legend!

All this aside, to quote Raef in a previous episode 'sir alen has made a desision' and i agree we should leave it now.

In conclusion I say:
C'mon Lee! you can win this my son!
XxXx