In the east there is murder, mystery and...Men of Honour.

Fresh from the battle of Omdurman the Men of Honour (tm) return to Europe. Boarding the Orient Express, the daring pair hope for a quiet holiday in Constantinople. These hopes are quickly dashed as a passenger, the eccentric aristocrat Lord Devonshire Ali Khalifa St.George the third of Galloway, is murdered. Liam and Michael resolve to unravel the mystery. At first short of funds for investigative material such as magnifying classes, hammers and Dr.Mandels Patented Clue-Finding Apparatus (tm) their progress is hampered. Luckily it emerges that immediately before his death Lord Devonshire left his entire estate to the Men of Honour (tm). Thanks to this bizarre and unexpected windfall the investigation proceeds at pace. One passenger, Dr.Maguire, makes the ludicrous claim that the Men of Honour were responsible for the death of the ageing aristocrat, before mysteriously hacking himself to pieces while taking a bath. The Men of Honour conclude that it was a suicide, resulting from the intense shame of lying about Men of Honour, which also explained why Dr.Maguire left his entire estate to them in an effort to assuage his guilt. Combining Liam's knowledge of early Soviet history and Michael's civil engineering expertise they discover that the murderer was none other than the Tsar, who disagreed with Lord Devonshire's wild theories on structural durability. Arresting Sister Assumpta, the nun-hitman who carried out the attack, the pair retire on their mysterious fortune, building a small villa on the bosphorus where they played table-tennis and read the works of Anton Chekov for over a decade.

In a world of corruption. In a world where fine wine and vinaigrettes can buy you freedom, there are still Men of Honour.

It is the late 1960s. Flower Power has ended Canada's reliance on nuclear energy. The armies of the Caliphate have reached Galway and China boogies to the sound of a hip new groove called communism. But in the west, there is trouble brewing. Tired of being kept down by the white man, the oppressed African Americans turn to their only hope: Liam Cullinane and Michael Kelleher, the fragrant, notorious and dashing Men of Honour (tm). Despite their admittedly pale complexions and ignorance of every culture, especially their own, the Men of Honour too feel a vigorous loathing for the Caucasian Fellow. After being refused membership by the black panthers, the pair found their own radical movement: the 'Green Armadillos'. Spreading hard-as-nails, tough as tarantula justice throughout the southern states, the Men of Honour send shockwaves through the corridors of power, causing over seventy thousand dollars worths of structural damage. The American president, Chairman Mao, attempts to win the pair over to his side with an offering of fine wine, beautiful vinaigrettes and tasty crepes. But the Men of Honour are beyond even such bountiful offers and call him a philistine, the shock of which kills him instantly, paving the way for Brian Wilson's eight-decade reign of terror. The new president, despite his talk of 'good vibrations', decides to take the men of honour out once and for all. Hounded by a fleet of police cars, the men of honour find themselves surrounded at the edge of the grand canyon. Rather than bow down to whitey, the pair throw themselves off the edges, dying in a mangled heap on the canyon floor. They later recover.

Film summary:

The late 1980s. America's inner city crack epidemic is at it's height. All over the nation solutions are sought for. All have failed. Until now..

Knowing the one solution to the epidemic lay in the capable hands of Liam Cullinane and Michael Kelleher, the titular Men of Honour (tm) Ronald Reagan sends for the notable duo with one mission. End the drug war. Returning from their crusades in the east, the pair enter Chicage, the most notoriously drug ridden city in the world. Deciding the bring the crack trade down from the inside, the Men of Honour (tm) infiltrate the drug cartels by establishing covers for themselves as antique/crack dealers. Being incapable of dishonour, the pair soon establish themselves within the upper echolons of the city's drug dealers as to fail, even at drug-dealing as part of their cover, would be an act of gravest dishonour. Finally their efforts pay off and the Men of Honour (tm) discover the identity of the two biggest druglords in the city, who, because of their incredible and unexpected success, are the Men of Honour (tm). Undeterred, Liam and mihcael prepare for a valiant showdown with themselves, taking down their own drug-empires and bringing themselves to justice. The film ends on a high note with the Men of Honour observing the desolate ruins of their own houses which they have just blown up. They lament the immorality of drug-dealers, even though they accidentaly became the largest suppliers of crack cocaine in the free world, and set off on their next mission: To bring down the Berlin wall...