No-one in Oz can work the tunnel that gets you off the aeroplane either,
I keep thinking people in the street look like people back home,
The internet is so much better here,
There still seem to be a lot of Thai/Oriental type people cutting about (ahhhso),
Some said Oriental people wear all of their clothes to bed including an elbow patches jacket,
How ironic is it that it is cold and I too have a cold (atishoooooooooo),
It is too weird that when I get up, you go to bed, and vice versa (ZZzzzzz),
You cant rip Aussie dollars and when you put them in the oven or microwave they shrink,
There is such a thing as a lingerie restaurant,
Is it cheque account, savings account or credit account? (how the fuck do I know?),
There is over 400 ATMs on one street (I counted),
Aussie Rules Football is the best (we love Geelong, the greatest team of all),
Cameron Ling is an ugly man (deeply ugly),
The beads have it!,
People still give staff abuse in McDonalds late a night (it is McDonalds mate, you dont get stuff 'on the side'),
Hostels are just so inconvenient,
Why is it called a pub crawl when no-one starts crawling until the end of it? (steamer),
I am always hungry (rumble),
Ice cream tastes so much better in the sunshine,
Glaswegians who have lived here for years love it when they meet you and try to regain their accent as they converse with you,
There are birds everywhere you go and eat, staring at you sitting on top of the table next to you (coooo),
Target is so cheap,
Things I buy dont fit (grrrrr),
There is no H&M (gutter),
Hoodies make the best coffee,
Auzzies take 'soccer' so seriuously yet they have no idea about it,
'Commit' is the most rediculous shout at a 'soccer' match ever,
You see the Airbus A380 (biggest in the world) passing over Melbourne twice a day (its huge!),
I can no longer fit all my stuff into my bag,
Greek people are the friendliest people in the world and love me for some reason,
We could, also, learn a lot from them as its all about loyalty and family (we miss that in Britain sometimes),
A 'pineapple' means $50,
Internet shops are all run by Chinese people (you wan compoota?),
$2 pizza has saved my life,
Foreign people who work in banks are just not efficient,
Watching seagulls barney over bits of baguette is weirdly entertaining (go on Frank),
Why, when it is sunny, it is cold?,
How can it be 28C today but with rain?,
Plastic shot glasses do not sink in a Jagerbomb,
I always end up with stuff spilled over me on nights out (why me?),
Qantas are pretty useless, however, quite helpful eventually,
Being on hold for 45mins isn't fun,
McDs in City Square at 3am sober is quite funny,
Fighting over the football in TV room at 3am is not,
If you cant have sex on the beach.................pump on the roof,
Old chinese women on planes are really entertaining,
Being thrown about 50 feet in the airand then plummeting 100 in a 747-400 is cool,
I saw an A380 take off in Sydney (how does it get off the ground?),
Families from Stirling sitting beside you constantly gibbering pish (in that accent as well) are mostly annoying especially when they include you in their convo,
If you have a hood up (it was freezing!) why do only you get asked for your passport?,
It is cold here :-(

Thai birds give me the fear,
There are no traffic laws here (beep beep),
Koh Samui/Koh Panghan/Railey is absolute paradise,
Never trust a Thai travel agent (an 8 hour journey will prob take 15),
No one can work the tunnel that gets you off the plane,
Being ringside at a Thai boxing night rocks (rip his head off, rip his head off),
The sand is so white and the water so blue (and greenish),
I have nearly whitied about 5 times (whitey whitey, whitey whitey)
Glaswegians are everywhere (awrite pal!),
Thai massage really hurts (crack!),
Thunder and lightening is so much more fun here,
Lots of people travel on their own (hello.......do you mind if i join you? Em yes!!!),
There are cats in every restaurant (meow),
A mansion is not really a mansion,
First aid kits are really handy,
Ceasar Salads are not as they seem,
I cant play frisbee as well as I want to (annoying),
No one ever drowns at a beach party,
Thai people are obsessed with fire,
Showers are just on the wall of the bathroom (shower, shite and shave - all at once),
All dive instructors have beards (Chuck Norris doesn't sleep - he waits),
Fanta Orange is luminous orange,
Everything you drink drips (am soakin),
Top Sugar - for the good time,
Vanilla Ice Cream shakes are the dogs,
Haggling is fun,
Tal Ben Haim follows you everywhere (shalom),
Computers are really slow,
Gary Glitter is leading the opposition to the Thai PM (want to be in my gang),
Why are there no 7elevens in Glasgow?,
Its raining,
Everyone sells Carnation Milk,
When ordering food, it never comes as you expect and everything has tomatoes (devils hemarroids),
Food can only be served to you on a doilie,
Big buckets of alcohol = Steamin!,
A fan never keeps you cool (why bother),
Cows are used as building site security guards (moooo!),
No-one is ever happy you are here - they always want to take you somewhere else (taxi boat, taxi boat),
Thai men dressed as Japanese Sushi chefs look hilarious (all you can eat -222THB),
Every shop has a deep fat fryer filled with rice,
Why does my left flip flop always fall off when I walk downstairs?,
There is Thai boxing Karaoke - literally! (free bucket for participants),
Mr Tuks BBQ chicken is the bollocks,
A taxi ride from Bangkok Airport to Kho San Road takes the same time as a flight from Phuket to Bangkok (1hr 20m),
Thai Airways are so much better than anything in Britain,
All harbours in Thailand are exactly the same (Krabbi? No wait Phuket.
Cannae be, hang on - is it?),
All transfers are chaos but you always get where your going and no-one ever gets lost (where you go, ticket ticket),
I have to say no about 400 times every day (nice suit, tuk tuk, massage, ping pong show),
Pictures of people dying of cancer on packets of cigarettes is absolutely disgusting.

Again a glorious failure.....we always promise it cant happen again but does!!!

But personally speaking, I have never been more proud of 11 men in blue shirts (gold for Gordon) in my entire life. Never once in my life have I actually believed we can go into any game knowing we can win. Hoping we can win with sheer blind patriotic optomism yes - but knowing we have the players to beat some of the world's best home and away never!!!

The night we beat the French in Paris will remain one of the best in my life, such emotion - the national anthem, hearing the crowd boo the French as if it were Hampden, actaully watching a Scottish team pass the ball around and making space against so-called superior opposition, Faddy's miraculous strike not quite believing it was in the net, then realising it was in the net and then the sheer bedlam afterwards - I think I was crying!!! And then hanging on for the last twenty minutes for dear life and then the relief afterwards! Knowing that our small country had achieved something that night and the world had to take notice of us now.

Not just against France but throughout the whole campaign, a team full of young bravehearts willing to die for their country, willing to die for you and it matter not who against. It really makes you want to die for them - and we would.

We can look to the future with optomism that there never has been so far in my lifetime certainly.

So come Eck, Faddy, McManus and Fergie and the rest of our great country's football heroes, take us to the WC in 2010 and then, well, who knows.......................

SCOTLAND FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 !!!!!