hi im steph, 18 and a uni student.

i really dont know what to write to be honest... its hard.

i hid my depression from everyone, i use to put on the happy face and all but in the inside i felt empty, hollow, down, all i wanted to do was die.

i lost my dad when i was 13, had a really shite mother who i dont live with, my aunt (threw my adopted family) died of brain cancer, my cat died who i had for 12 years, my aunt died of cancer last year and my grandad died 2 weeks later.

i got picked on in school since year 7, moved schools in year 9 and seemed to get in a lot of fights with chavs. nothing really effected my education and i had the best friends i could ever have... until year 11, where an incident left me with just a few mates. so i left school and went to college, i think during the second year i felt at the worse... previously i had 2 attempted sucides, i had another one earlier this year... i selfed harmed after me and my adobted dad (uncle) had a fight and was glad i went to uni and we dont talk.

Uni has been good, fun, but lately im feeling depressed again, and not trying to show it. I lay in bed with thoughts of suicide spinning around. I use to email samartians but they given up on me. me and my mate sean recently had a fall out cos i asked him if he had my wallet... said i was an attention seeker.

i self harmded on my stomach so no one could see it.. i wanted to be the "happy kid" with no problems whats so ever... dont get me wrong sometimes i am happy, and love life the best think i done was move away from home as i can be my own person...

but now the depression kicks in, i want to be on my own but force myself to go out... hopefully in the end all will work out... someday

hi, my name is Jenni and i am 14, for as long as i can remember i have always had a violent temper, if something didn't go my way i would scream and try to hurt who ever upset me, thankfully, i never hurt anyone, when i was little my parents wondered why i only spoke what can only be described and someone talking under water, doctors found i had a hearing problem and by the time they had fixed it i was 4 years old, i was sent to a language pre-school where i was taught to speak by an american woman, at the same time i also attended a local pre-school with children a year older then me,

because of the time spent between schools i had to repeat pre-school and join children of my own age group in their learnings and lose all my friends. Because of my being taught by an american i took on a strong accent, which was never a problem, i lost friends constantly through primary school because parents didn't like me or the leader of the group i had befriended hated me. In year 5 when i was 11 years old my peers started picking up on my accent and my weight gain, i was constantly teased and lost almost all my friends. American idiot was the song they sang when i entered a room.

I started drifting away from everyone, prefering to stay in my room and not socalise, in year 6 i had changed alot, i never wore dresses or skirts, though i desired too, i started favouring darker colours and spending more time reading in my room or during class, which affected my final grades. I entered high school alone with all but one not so close friend, i found a group that was similar to me and stayed with them for a majority of 7 weeks, we had a fight and i returned to my shell.

One lunch time a girl named Michaela found me reading at a table and invited me to join her friends, and finally i felt like i belonged, my temper had lessened, though when my friends did something stupid or annoying i would hit them, not hard but enough for them to start being careful of what they said. The girl Michaela, nicknamed Micky became my best-friend after we discovered we lived near each other, soon after we considered each other sisters, for i had no little sister to care for and she had no big sister to protect her.

We had many fights, most resulting in my almost moving schools and crying most days after school, mid last year was when i noticed something was wrong, i was always sad, or angry, i spent days and days staying home to avoid the bullies that had picked on me from the begining of year 7, i didn't do homework or assignments, my bedroom was always dark and i was always on the computer with my door closed, my mum thought i was just going though changes, as my older sister Melissa had had a similar stage in her life a few years back.

Late last year i started cutting, i don't know why, it didn't ease my pain or sorrow, and only left me in jackets on hot days, i eventually saw the school councilar who listened to my problems and informed my mum of my cutting, i stopped hurting myself, but only because my mum didn't understand, and when she told me the councilar believed i had depression or anxitey and had suggested i take a anxitey and depression test, she laughed and said no, so i didn't, but after school started again i began coming out of my room a bit more, but was still very anti-social, which my mum and popular sister had no problem pointing out.

It was only a few months ago when i realised that i hadn't hit my friends in weeks, i had become more social, not much but still i talked to my group of friends more, i had stopped writing poems because i wasn't sad or angry anymore, my worst bully had moved to America and the rest had left me alone,

i still believe that i had some type of depression and still have some anxitey issues, no matter how small they were and are, but i feel happier and more cheerful than i have felt in years. I'm only hoping that others will be as lucky as i in getting better and finding their way back home. I dont

hi im mechelle and died of self harm at the age of 13. oh wait tht doesnt work?

not trying to slag anyone really just dont know what to say and need some help

hate talking on phones n childline sucks online

god if ur feeling suicidal u write to them n they reply the next day? thts got to be stupid glad i had ppl to help me at tht time but none now :'(