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Bhratairia
- Profile views: 222
- Profile created: September 2007
- www.bebo.com/bhratairianovel
- Category:
- Science
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- Tagline
- a sci fi novel in progress
- Me, Myself, and I
- 500 years after colonizing the planet Bhratairia, Raphaella is recruited to lead the revolution to end women being treated as property. Along the way she uncovers secrets about herself, her government and the planet's indigenous life, the djinn.
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1
Going, going, sold!
2
The last supper
3
Cleansing the Innocent
4
Resurrection
5
Theft at the palace
6
A friendly visit
7
Dreams of the dead
8
Night rescue
9
The Haunted Road
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James Geary10/6/07I like ur story, definiely my kinda ting. Sounds a bit like sum novels i've red by allen steele. Nyway i've red 1st 2 chapters nd wil b finishin' it. By de way dis is my story, it's sci-fi 2 if ya wana chec it out. http://www.bebo.com/blsp
Hi Hey when is the next chapter due? I am following your progress and hanging on every word
by Joanne Richel 4/20/08please please keep up the work I LOVE it!! and can't wait for more.
Joanne aka l'elf
A rich tapestry being woven together This was a delight to read because your presentation is so good. You are drawing together a lot of threads and introduce a lot of characters with unusual names. Unfortunately, this made it a little hard for me to follow. I use a lot of characters in my novel and was told it is a mistake to do this. However, I stuck with my own belief, which is probably why I can't get any mainstream bookshops to stock my book! If you want yours to become a blockbuster, cutting out a few characters is something worth thinking about.
by Janine Pulford 12/9/07I am a quick reader who likes plenty of action, tension or humour, so this isn't my kind of story, though it is well written without a doubt - a rich tapestry being woven together.
One nit-pick: the word 'She' crops us a little too often at the start of sentences. You could edit some of these out quite easily.
I do wish you luck with finishing your novel and getting it into print. Keep writing.
Janine
Wonderful idea, even better execution. Wonderful idea. I love the storyline. Part of it moved a little fast for me. As you get more ideas. write ANYTHING down, maybe it will turn out as a filler for some parts. I just thought more inbetween would be good, so the story flows better.
by Amanda 11/13/07Can't wait to see more. Would you take the time to review my book?
Again, superb work.
www.bebo.com/1aftermath1