If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(I think I better stay away from my Barrel)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the..?!" )


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm..)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(since you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

( I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig)

Can you cry under water?
-
How important does a person have to be before they
are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only
a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
-
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

-
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

-
What disease did cured ham actually have?

-
How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

-
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

-
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

-
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money
in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway. (Hence the body butter Gina )

-
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

-
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

-
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a stupid song about him?
-
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

-
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

-
Do the Alphabet song and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
-
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

-
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Are you wondering why you are still reading my profile


ok got another very important one too...

why there are more hot dogs in the hot dog package than there are hot dog buns in the hot dog bun package,
What is with the hotdog to bun ratio?!?!