He invented November, and that if he had won the world championship in brazil last weekend there might have been one photograph of him without his father girning in the back of shot."
He sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with russel brands answering machine."
It is impossible for him to wear socks, and that he can open a beer bottle with his testi's."
He isn't by law aloud within 100 yrds of lorraine kelly, and that he has never seen an episode of top gear because he is a huge fan of midsummer murders."
His droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face on his face."
After he makes love he bites the head of his mate and that he has given up binge drinking now that the price has gone up to £1.18 a litre.”
To unlock him you have to run your finger down his face, and if he was getting devorced from Paul McCarthy, he would keep his stupid, whining mouth shut.”
He knows 2 facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong, and that he once, accidently, introduced the queen to a greek racialist.” (thanks Josh E)
If you lick his chest, It tastes the exact same as Piccalilli, and at the brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russal Brand.”
He gets terrible eczema on his helmet and that if he'd been the video ref in the world cup rugby final he would of seen that,,, of course it was a try you blind Australian halfwit.”
That he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.”
Raw meat is the Stig's favorite food.”
He is terrified of bats.”
His skin has the texture of dolphins.”
There's an airport in Russia named after him.”
If you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts.”
He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.” (a reference to the The Matrix).
He once punched a horse to the ground.”
His politics are terrifying.”
His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.”
He finds the idea of France confusing.”
He isn't machine washable, and that all his potted plants are called steve.”
He's banned from the Chelsea flower show.”
He could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.”
There's something funny going on between him and Joan Collins.”
He drinks a lot of petrol.”
He has no understanding of clouds.”
His genitals are on upsidedown.”
He irons his shoes.”
His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.”
His ears have a paisley lining.”
He should NOT be allowed near apples.”
He was born in space.”
He invented Branston Pickle.”
He has 3 USB ports.”
If you touch his stuff, he WILL mess you up.”
He can accumbularate.”
He once had an affair with John Prescott.”
There's an airport in Russia named after him.”
His tears are adhesive.”
If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.”
He was raised by wolves.”
He is scared of ducks.”
The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring”
He has a digital face, and if he wanted to, he could fire Alan Sugar...”
His crash helmet is modeled on Britney Spear's head.”
He urinates 98 RON petrol.”
He appears on Japanese banknotes.”
He sucks the moisture from ducks.”
He is allgergic to the dutch.”
He never blinks.”
He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.”
He's named every single blade of grass around the Top Gear test track.”
He is wanted by the CIA.”
He sleeps upside down like a bat.”
He appears on high value stamps in Sweden.”
His ears aren't exactly where you'ld expect them to be.”
He has no fear.”
He can catch fish with his tongue.”
He's a bit too keen of Liam Neeson's films.”
He has a tatoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.”
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.”
He has breath that smells of magnesium.”
He's puzzled by wind.”
He has webbed buttocks.”
He can smell corners.”
He has a bionic arm.”
He can hear colours.�

A "non-qualifying" vehicle is one which the presenters deem not to be a "road car". One of their commonly stated criteria for "road car" is the ability to negotiate a speed bump.
1 BAE Sea Harrier 0:31.2
2 Renault R24 Formula One car 0:59.0
3 Aston Martin DBR9 1:08.6
4 Caparo T1 1:10.6
Note The Harrier is the only vehicle which the Stig did not operate personally, normally a prerequisite for an officially timed lap.
__________THE STIG VS FORMULA 1 DRIVERS__________
1 The Stig 1.44.4
2 Nigel Mansell 1.44.6
3 Lewis Hamilton 1.44.7 (wet and oil)
4 Jenson Button 1.44.7
5 Damon Hill 1.46.3
6 Mark Webber 1.47.5 (wet track)

_____THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE STIG!!!_____
Post By http://www.bebo.com/TheBigRoosterIsBack thanks barry

The Stig's true identity has never been revealed by the Top Gear presenters. The intent is that he functions as an unbiased "standard" that can be used to test cars fairly. However, once Perry McCarthy's book, Flat Out, Flat Broke, was published in 2003, it became clear that he was the original Stig (from 2002 to 2003). McCarthy was a former Formula 1 driver and test driver for the Benetton, Arrows and Williams teams and also tested for BMW F1.
In the first episode of the third series, the original Stig (McCarthy) was "killed off", with some spoof footage of the Stig supposedly driving off the end of the British aircraft carrier HMS Invincible after failing to brake in time. Some believe this was due to the uncovering of his identity, when whilst scheduled to appear in the 2003 Le Mans 24hr Race he was shown in an episode supposedly shot the same weekend helping the Top Gear team as the Stig in a Citroen 2CV 24hr race. This prompted a change of dress and music, and the "white Stig" was introduced in the second episode of series 3, on November 2, 2003.
Rumours that the Stig was former F1 driver Damon Hill were supposedly confounded when Hill appeared on Top Gear on June 26, 2005. He did the lap and got 1.46.3. However, when asked if he was the Stig, he didn't actually deny this, and some took his apparently rapid availability to appear on the show in another guest's absence to indicate further evidence that he was the Stig. Many racing drivers are often asked if they are the Stig by the public.
On July 31, 2005, Season 6 Episode 10, a current F1 driver, Mark Webber appeared on Top Gear. He did the lap in the Suzuki Liana in 1.47.1 on a wet track. There is no reference that he is the Stig. Jeremy Clarkson even says that Webber took the same line around the first corner as Damon Hill, and that the Stig's is different. However, at the conclusion of his lap, Clarkson presents Webber with a t-shirt that reads "I AM THE STIG" on it. This is probably unlikely, as he was a current F1 driver at the time.
Rumours abound that other racers assume the mantle of the Stig in various capacities. In a Winter Olympics special episode of Top Gear, the Stig was shown doing a ski jump using a snowmobile, suggesting that this may have been another person dressed as the Stig doing the extremely dangerous stunt. According to the Swedish tabloid newspaper Aftonbladet, the snowmobile driver performing the ski jump stunt was Dan Lang, a Swedish snowmobile cross driver. In January 2006, the Daily Express claimed that the identity of The Stig is former Formula 1 driver Julian Bailey. The article does not specify which episodes Bailey was supposedly the driver or provide sources for this claim.
In May 2006, the Stig lost control of the £415,000 Koenigsegg CCX and ploughed through a tyre wall, marking the first recorded instance of the Stig being involved in an accident. After a suggestion by the Stig to add a spoiler for downforce, Koenigsegg did accept that the car suffered from a lack of rear downforce, and took the car back to Sweden to retrofit a rear wing, in an attempt to rectify the problem. Koenigsegg later sent back the car with its new rear spoiler, and the Stig made the fastest ever

1 Ascari A10 1:17.3
2 Koenigsegg CCX(with "Top Gear Wing") 1:17.6
3 Pagani Zonda F 1:18.4
4 Maserati MC12 1:18.9
5 Enzo Ferrari 1:19.0
6 Radical SR3 1:19.1
7 Ariel Atom 2 300 1:19.5
8 Ferrari F430 Scuderia 1:19.7
9 Porsche Carrera GT 1:19.8
10 Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 1:19.8
11 Koenigsegg CCX 1:20.4
12 Ascari KZ1 1:20.7
13 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren 1:20.9
14 Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano 1:21.2
15 Ford GT 1:21.9
16 Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale 1:22.3
17 Porsche 911 GT3 RS 1:22.3
18 Chevrolet Corvette Z06 1:22.4
19 Noble M15 1:22.5
20 Westfield XTR2 1:22.6
21 Ferrari F430 F1 1:22.9
22 Ferrari F430 Spider F1 1:23.2
23 Lamborghini Murciélago (retested) 1:23.7
24 Pagani Zonda C12 S 7.3 (mildly moist) 1:23.8
25 Koenigsegg CC8S 1:23.9
26 Prodrive P2 (active differential switched on) 1:24.3
27 TVR Sagaris 1:24.6
28 Mitsubishi Evo VIII MR FQ-400 1:24.8
29 TVR Tuscan Mk.II 1:24.8
30 Noble M12 GTO-3R 1:25.0
31 Lotus Exige S 1:25.1
32 Audi RS4 B7 1:25.2
33 Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder 1:25.7
34 Lamborghini Gallardo (wet) 1:25.8
35 Morgan Aero 8 GTN 1:25.9
36 BMW Z4 M Roadster 1:26.0
37 Mitsubishi Evo VIII MR FQ-320 1:26.0
38 BMW M5 1:26.2
39 BRABUS SV12 S Biturbo 1:26.2
40 Lotus Exige (mildly moist) 1:26.4
41 Porsche Cayman S 1:26.7
42 Chevrolet Corvette 1:26.8
43 Ferrari 575M Maranello HGTC 1:26.8
44 Mercedes-Benz CLS55 AMG 1:26.9
45 Aston Martin Vanquish S 1:27.1
46 Aston Martin DB9 1:27.1
47 Porsche 911 GT3 (mildly moist) 1:27.2
48 Spyker C8 Spyder 1:27.3
49 TVR T350c 1:27.5
50 Wiesmann MF 3 1:27.9
51 BMW M3 CSL (wet) 1:28.0
52 Roush Mustang 1:28.0
53 Marcos TSO GT2 1:28.2
54 Dodge Viper SRT-10 (very wet) 1:28.5
55 MG XPower SV 1:28.6
56 Porsche Boxster S 1:28.7
57 MTM BIMOTO (cold tires) 1:28.7
58 Porsche 911 C4S (wet) 1:28.9
59 Mitsubishi EVO VIII 1.28.9
60 Mercedes-Benz CL65 AMG 1:29.0
61 Alpina Z8 Roadster 1:29.0
62 Prodrive P2 (active differential switched off) 1:29.0
63 Lamborghini Murciélago (wet) 1:29.0
64 Subaru Impreza WRX STi WR-1 1:29.4
65 AS One (cold tires) 1:29.4
66 Volkswagen Golf GTI W12 650 1.29.6
67 Alfa Romeo 147 GTA 3.7 1:30.0
68 Ford Shelby GT500 1:30.0
69 Subaru Impreza WRX STi 1:30.1
70 Vauxhall Monaro VXR 1:30.1
71 Aston Martin DB7 GT 1:30.4
72 Volkswagen Golf R32 1:30.4
73 Audi S4 quattro 4.2 1:30.9
74 Porsche 911 Turbo (very wet) 1:31.0
75 Audi TT 2.0 1:31.4
76 Vauxhall VX220 Turbo 1:31.3
77 2003 Honda NSX Type-R (very wet) 1:31.6
78 BMW M3 1:31.8
79 BMW 535d 1:31.8
80 Nissan 350Z 1:31.8
81 Mazda RX-8 1:31.8
82 BMW 130i 1:31.9
83 Ford Focus RS 1:32.2
84 Mazda6 MPS 1:32.2
85 Lotus Esprit V8 (cold tires) 1:32.5
86 Renaultsport Mégane 225 Cup 1:32.5
87 Audi TT 3.2 quattro 1:32.7
88 Modernized Jaguar E-Type 1:32.8
89 Facelifted Honda Civic Type-R 1:32.8
90 SEAT León Cupra R 1:32.9
91 Mercedes-Benz SLK350 1:32.9
92 Audi RS6 (very wet) 1:33.0
93 Mercedes-Benz SL55 AMG (very wet) 1:33.0
94 Vauxhall Astra VXR 1:33.0
95 Noble M12 GTO (very wet) 1:33.1
96 Volkswagen Golf Mark IV R32 1:33.3
97 Cadillac CTS-V (very wet) 1:33.4
98 MG ZT 260 1:33.7
99 Volkswagen Golf Mark V GTI 1:33.7
100 2002 Honda NSX-R (very wet) 1:33.7
101 Renaultsport Clio 182 Cup 1:33.8
102 Holden Monaro (wet) 1:33.9
103 Renaultsport Mégane 225 1:34.0
104 MINI Cooper S Works 1:34.2
105 Ford Mondeo ST220 1:34.5
106 Jaguar XKR (very,very,very wet-snow and ice) 1:34.7
107 Ford Focus ST (foggy) 1:34.9
108 Volvo S60 R 1:35.0
109 Ferrari 575M Maranello (very wet) 1:35.2
110 Vauxhall Vectra VXR 1:35.3
111 Alfa Romeo 147 GTA 1:35.6
112 Lotus Elise (very wet) 1:35.6
113 Citroën C4 VTS 1:35.8
114 Aston Martin V12 Vanquish (very very wet) 1:36.2
115 Clio V6 (very wet) 1:36.2
116 Honda Civic Type-R 1:36.5
117 Alfa Romeo Brera 2.2 1:36.9
118 Porsche Boxster (very wet) 1:37.0
119 BMW Z4 3.0i (very wet) 1:37.3
120 Honda S2000 (