Dis is totally me lol!! and u!!
...u iz a str8 up maramara kerekere a.k.a sum1z uri whakatupu a.k.a maori ea!

-You go to the senior ball with your cousin

-A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place

-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose

-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day

-Boil-up is your preferred healthy food choice

-Breakfast is the left over boil-up from the night before

-Your sent to pick watercress for a funeral, at 3 o'clock in the morning -You get to the watercress patch at 3.30am and the marae down the road have already beaten you to it

-You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5 o'clock

-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks

-You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time you were there

-Your undies are hanging on the clothes-line but you know you haven't been wearing them

-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past

-You give the longest shout outs on the radio

-You have 6 people in the back seat of a two-door sports car

-In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal

-Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutus

-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar

-You know all the words to 10 guitars

-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae

-The words 'oi' 'eow' 'umm' 'chur' 'sweet' 'nah & yeah' are all part of your vocabulary

-you go to school to eat the other kids lunch

-you go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids

-bullrush is your favourite sport

-you think your tribe is the best in the world

-your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying

-Hello and goodbye are both said by raising your eyebrows.

-your jandals / gumboots are: your running shoes, your work shoes, your flippers and your going out shoes.

-your swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and your in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is a bikini).

-you run to do bombs at the public pools where it says no running and no bombing.

-brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.

-you start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one (year six)

-you cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk

-you laugh at everyone who cant sing

-you laugh at everyone who cant dance

-you laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time

-you go to a party and at least a couple of your relatives are sleeping on the table

-you go to the same party three days later and its still going

-you go diving with one flipper, a broken snorkel and no goggles

-playing the spoons is right up there as percussion for the guitar.

-you'll know your definitely a Mäori if you've read this email right to the bitter end, because...... Mäori don't like to miss out on anything.....

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Never ask for food
MAORIS: Are the reason you have no food.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
MAORIS: Call your parents aunty and uncle.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MAORIS: Would be sitting next to you saying, that was fun!!

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
MAORIS: Cry with you.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MAORIS: Keep it so long they forget it's yours.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
MAORIS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MAORIS: Walk right in and say, "whats to eat?"

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Are for a while.
MAORIS: Are for life.

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Wont understand or find this amusing
MAORIS: Will be in hysterics laughing

NON-MAORI FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
MAORIS: Will Copy n PASTE this