After nearly three years of being confused with, and asked if we are, The Wakes, we've decided enough is enough, and we've changed the name.

The name was, after all, just a bit of a joke in the first instance, and we didn't really think we'd still be going after this long!

So, say goodbye to The Jakes, and say hello to Shillelagh.

Slán leat, a chairde!

Keith Jake.

It was a normal Saturday night in The Islay Inn.

The crowd were, as always, eating out of the palm of The Jakes' hands. Coach was being effortlessly cool on bass, Keith was giving it his all while radiating that raw sexual energy, and Kevin was the definition of rhythm on the drums.

Then, out of the corner of the eye, while giving the best rendition of The Wild Rover ever, Keith noticed a woman shuffling up towards him, using his arm and the neck of his guitar to hold herself up. "A jolly drunk woman!", thought Keith Jake.

She proceeded to steal the microphone off of him for each chorus of the song, warbling like a banshee, more tuneless with each passing chorus.

The Jakes agreed it was hilarious, and at the end of the song she turned and headed off towards her seat. No-one watched her go.

Unfortunately, the new-found fame got to the woman's head, and she decided that she'd do the same in the next song, The Galway Shawl. Unfortunately, she didn't know the words, so she just sang "SING IT!" tunelessly in time to the chorus. Keith joined in, good-naturedly, for a couple of these. The Jakes then took the unilateral decision to stop if she came up again.

Once again, the woman could see a possible invite to join the band due to her fantastic skills, and did the same again. At this point, Coach switched off Keith's mic, and turned to Keith and said "USE MINE....USE MY MIC!"

It was only at this point that it came to our attention that the woman only had one leg, and was clinging to Keith so tightly so she wouldn't fall over.

Eventually, the fifth time this happened, Coach had had enough, and did something he'll never get the chance to do again. He told a woman who only had one leg to (and I quote) "Fuck off." Kev Jake was, at this point, making inappropriate comments, very loudly, about her lack of lower limbs. She definitely heard these comments.

The woman got thrown out of the pub eventually, but was still outside at shutting time, whence she told Keith that he was just jealous because she was a better singer than him. Keith called her a psycho and told her to fuck off (like Coach Jake, this is something he'll never get the chance to do again).

There is the story of The Jakes and The One Legged Woman.

We officially love the Islay Inn.

Love,

The Jakes.