FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is egg, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". Nahh egg, I paid 10 bux to come to the movies and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give you a choice there?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there shouldnt be anything wrong with it. If it's an improvement,then there must have been something wrong with it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here??

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears??

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering...It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McClown.

14. When your involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off..

How to Keep a Healthy Level of INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the carpark yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

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♥..Leave One Memory Of You && Me Together As A Comment.. It Doesn't Matter If I Know You A Little Or A Lot, Anything You Remember..♥

ITS DA MEMORIES DAT COUNT.....