Vampires
My name is Sam and i think vampires are cool! They can live for centuries without growing old, and they have many magical powers, and they can do whatever they like ? except walk about in the daylight!

I have 62 books about vampires, or with bits in them about vampires. I'm not sure how many vampire movies I've seen, but I must have seen at least 50, probably a lot more. My favourite is Salem's Lot. The vampire in that film is really scary ? bald and ugly, with long claws and very sharp fangs. I had nightmares when I first saw it, and I love having nightmares, so that was great!

My Mum isn't too keen on vampires, but maybe that's because of the time I squirted loads of tomato ketchup under the covers of her bed ? so it looked like a pool of blood ? and left a plastic vampire bat in it!!

There are lots of legends about vampires. Many of them, I think, are made up. I doubt if vampires can turn into fog or don't cast a shadow or turn to ash if they are hit with holy water or touched with a cross. And I'd be very surprised if they don't have reflections or if they can turn into bats and fly. I mean, bats have to learn how to fly. If a vampire turned into a bat, he'd probably just fall flat on the floor or bash into things while he was trying to fly.

I think the stories about bats started because vampires are friendly with bats. The books I've read ? the serious, true books ? say that bats and rats and wolves are kind of vampire pets. Vampires feed and look after them, just like humans feed and look after dogs.

I'd much rather have a bat than a dog for a pet. I asked my Mum to get me a bat or a rat for my last birthday, but she said "Not in this lifetime, buddy!" My Mum is soooooooo boring!

Vampires have to drink blood to survive. This is DEFINITELY true. I don?t know how much they need to drink, or how often, but a vampire will die if he doesn?t drink the right amount of blood. Drinking blood helps vampires live so long. I think that maybe humans might live longer if they drank blood too ? then again, maybe they?d just get sick and die!



My best friend Darren Shan says he?d rather eat mud than drink blood, but I think drinking blood is cool. When I have cuts on my knees or elbows, I like to pick at my scabs and drink the small bit of blood that comes out. It?s very tasty!

Vampires are super-strong and super-fast, much stronger and faster than humans. They can punch through brick walls and run 100 metres in three or four seconds. If a vampire entered the Olympics, he?d win every gold medal in every event.

Most vampires are men. There are a few women vampires, but most women who want to get magic powers and live a long time prefer to become witches. I don?t know why this is so. Maybe it?s because most vampires feed upon adults ? there?s more blood in a grown-up ? whereas most witches eat little children. Since good women love to have and mind little children, I guess it?s only natural that evil women love to eat them!

To kill a vampire, you have to drive a stake through his heart. The stake doesn?t have to be made out of wood ? hard plastic or steel will do too. Another way to kill a vampire is to cut off his head and stuff it with garlic. Or you can burn him. Or, if you can find him while he?s sleeping in the day, you can drag him out into sunlight and leave him to burn.

I feel quite sorry for vampires. They're always being hunted and killed. I think people should leave them alone. Long ago, people sacrificed beautiful girls to their gods, and the gods left the rest of them alone. I think that?s what we should do with vampires. If we gave vampires a few beautiful girls every so often, I?m sure they?d just drink from them and not bother anybody else.

There are a couple of girls in my class I'd like to give to a vampire? and one or two teachers too!!!

To become a vampire, you have to drink the blood of you have to drink the blood of another vampire, or else he has to do a blood tr

Chapter One

Im a vampire, vampires are nothing like the storied you hear about. We don't die if we see the sun, we are not scared of crosses or stakes. But, we still have to drink blood to keep us alive. Any human would think the only way of killing us was by driving a stake through our hearts. A gun could kill a vampire like it would a human. Us vampires, we are much stronger, tougher & wiser than the average human. We have better hearing & sight than people. Any way my names Darren Shan, im 14 in vampire years and im a vamrire. When i was 7 i was adopted, that was when i found out that i was not adopted by an ordinary human but, by a creature if the night!

Chapter 2

So here i am 7 years later, im running, i was knocked out 2 hours ago. I dont know why, and i dont know who did it. I was walking through a forest outside my lane, At night. I was heading to the local shop, to get some food. It's 1:54 now and im going home, without any food. When i got home, Mr. Crepsly was waiting in the kitchen. "Where have you been?" he said, "I just got up and thought you'd been taken". There were vampire hunters around looking for us. One had seen the scars on my wrists, us vampiers have scars on our wrists. Because when we are blooded, (turned into vampires) The full vampire has to cut their and the humans wrists to pass blood through. We press our wrists against the humans and we pump blood into their veins. Any way Mr. Crepsly was looking at me unkindly. And i said, "Sombody hit me on the back of the head when I was walking through the forset!" I replied. "What?" he said puzzled. "I was walking through the forest on the way to the shop and I was wacked on the head by someone, I must of been a human because a hunter would of shot!" I said with tears in my eyes. "I Have a plan," Mr.Crepsly Said...

CHAPTER ONE : BEAUTY ENTERS MY LIFE

I was playing triple chess with my best friend Moss Biskin and the blue rat who lives inside my head. Triple chess was a game we’d invented, which let the three of us play each other at the same time, on the same board. We each had less pieces than we’d have in a normal game of chess, but it was much harder and we had to be at our sharpest when playing it.

Moss was in the middle of telling me about a cannibal he’d defeated in the Abalon Jungle (he was trying to distract me into making a mistake!) when the door to my office burst open and the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen entered, screaming, her eyes wild with terror. "Help me!" she screamed. "It’s after me! It’s going to eat me! It –" Before she could say any more, she fainted, and I had to jump forward quickly to catch her before she hit the floor.




CHAPTER TWO : A TALE OF HORROR
Her name was Demonia and she was lovely. She had a beautiful face, long hair and slim hands. Her feet were big — I’ve always fancied girls with big feet. "Who do you think she is?" the blue rat who lives in my head asked. He was shivering, the way he always does at the start of a dangerous case. "I don’t know," I said. "I don’t trust her," Moss Biskin grunted. "Shut up!" I snapped, wiping her hair from her face, gazing at her closed eyelids and her gently parted lips as she breathed lightly, still asleep (I knew her name because I’d read it on the label inside her jacket when I’d taken it off and hung it up).

Eventually Demonia awoke. "Where am I?" she gasped, staring around my office, frightened. "It’s OK," I told her. "You’re safe with me. I’m Sam Grest." She smiled when she heard that. "Thanks heavens!" she cried. "I was trying to get here when the monster attacked." "Monster?!?" Moss Biskin, the rat and I shouted together, alarmed but excited — it had been almost a month since we’d last had a scrap with a real nasty monster. Over a cup of tea and a plate of warm rat biscuits, Demonia told us about the monster which had attacked her, her brother and two of their friends. It was a purple-skinned, fat creature, who dressed in a white suit and drank the blood of its victims. It killed her two friends and kidnapped her brother. It said it would eat him unless Demonia married it. "Don’t worry!" I interrupted hotly. "I won’t let that happen!" "Thank you, Mr Grest," Demonia said, kissing me to show how grateful she was. "Please," I muttered, blushing madly, "call me Sam."




CHAPTER THREE : IN HOT PURSUIT
I wanted to leave with Demonia straightaway but Moss and the blue rat were less than wholly enthusiastic. "There’s something wrong about her," the blue rat squeaked. "I don’t think she told us the whole truth," Moss Biskin added. "You two are just jealous," I replied, "because I’m the only one she kissed. You can stay here and mind the office — I’ll go with her by myself!" Moss and the blue rat tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn’t listen, and soon I’d left with Demonia to head off in search of her brother. She kissed me again when we were alone, and said she thought she was falling in love with me. I hadn’t felt as happy since I’d cut off the head of a murdering ogre on the banks of the Zalabu river!


The last time Demonia had seen the purple monster, it had been heading for the cliffs of Dead Man’s Munch. I knew those cliffs well — they were one of the few places on the planet I’d gone out of my way to avoid in the past, knowing how deadly they are. I almost went back to get Moss Biskin and the blue rat – I was scared by myself – but Demonia hugged me tight and kissed me a third time, and after that nothing in the world frightened me, so off we set!




CHAPTER FOUR : ON THE CLIFFS
Strong winds howled around the cliffs of Dead Man’s Munch. The cliffs were tall, some of the tallest in the world, and the ground at the bottom was jagged and sharp — if we