- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun

- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

- Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

- Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

- Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks

- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

- Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

- If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

- Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

life soundtrack
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Opening Credits: The View From The Afternoon - Arctic Monkeys

Waking Up: See The World - The Kooks

First Day At School: Education - Modest Mouse

Falling In Love: Young Love - Mystery Jets

Fight Song: Fight Music - D12

Breaking Up: Still In Love - Air traffic

Prom: When You Were Young - The Killers

Life: Just For Tonight - One Night Only

Mental Breakdown: Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

Driving: Go With The Flow - QOTSA

Flashback: Photograph - Nickleback

Getting Back Together: 100 years - Five For Fighting

Wedding: Shooting Star - Air Traffic

Birth of Child: Beautiful - Athlete

Final Battle: You Know My Name - Chris Cornell

Death Scene: Dead Reckoning - Clint Mansell

Funeral song: Your Fractured Life - Air Traffic

End Credits: Strange And Beautiful - Aqualung