Garage Flower

"Grab-your-mate-&-sing-yourself-hoarse Rock'n'Roll Songs......."

5 settimane fa | anch'io! | Rispondi

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  • Maschio, 23, Cuoricini 270
  • Città: Stirling
  • Stato sentimentale: Single
  • Data registrazione: September 2007
  • Ultimo accesso: 6 ore fa
  • www.bebo.com/Jonny_Segment

Informazioni personali

Messaggio personale
Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation
Tutto su di me
Unless I'm sleeping... I'm probably talking pish!


You know the type... loud as a motor-bike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight!


On a lonely planet spinning its way toward damnation amid the fear and despair of a broken human race, who is left to fight for all that is good and pure and gets you smashed for under a tenner? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Jamie 'Jim' Chrystal!


The story so far...... As usual, some Cunts and I are engaged on our quest to find out what the hell is going on and save humanity from my nemesis, some bastard who is presumably responsible.


I believe we are looking for a menstruating child who is waterproof to a depth of fifty meters!?!


I'm going for a shower... where's the clingfilm?
La mia metà
Kirk Dennehy

Kirk Dennehy

the case of the mysterious injury.....

Music
the Courteeners, the Korovas, the Shermans, Five Park Drive, the Leads, Mama Mayhem, Arctic Monkeys, Kasabian, Stereophonics, Sergeant, the View, the La's, Oasis, Stone Roses, BRMC, Doves, Hard-Fi, the Who, Cast, the Music, the Kinks, the Beatles, the Stones, the Seahorses, the Enemy, Razorlight, Kings of Leon, the Rascals, BRMC, Radiohead, Ian Brown, Primal Scream, Joy Division, the Doors, James, David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Cage the Elephant, Glasvegas, the Libertines, the Fratellis, the Charlatans, the Jam , Paul Weller, the Coral, the Pigeon Detectives, the Strokes, the White Stripes, the Cribs, Parka, Figure 5, the Raid, Hip Parade, Tommy Reilly, the list goes on...
Good Times
Let's be honest here - anytime i'm out drinking, Gigs, Havin random conversations with gid friends, Sleeping all day, Her Face, Swimming in the buff, Gourmet coffee, Hazelnut latte's (aaahh), Sunshine, Corona beer, Sambuca, Fresh bed sheets, The cool side of the pillow, Manly cardigans, Diesel jeans, Wages, Drinking, Erratic Behaviour, Honeydew Melon, Most other fruits, Chinese Food, Snow, Washing my hands, Golfing after a night out, Meetin randoms & the proceeding banter, Sound Production, A gid old boogie, Frankie Boyle, Caleb Followill's voice, Alesha Dixons laugh.......
Bad Times
Cold bed, Waking up sweating, Flat juice, Boredom, Predictable People, Cutting your nails too short, Falling up stairs, Hangovers, Standing on up-turned plugs, People not washing their hands
...the Fear
Fat, massive pigeons, Circus clowns/any life-like doll of any sorts, Certain shop mannequins, Going bald
Quotes
Dinnae go to sleep!"
"I'm no, i'm just lookin at my eyelids!"

*You look like a horse in a man costume!
*There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge, & i knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
*I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
*When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
*"Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish—a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow—to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested . . . Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll."
*He claims it's because he was drunk, but I claimed I had won because I had a cricket bat in my hand.
& Another Thing
*Beware when someone says his mate is a 'character'. It just means he'll put his 'coin-purse' in your pint when your not looking!
*I'm not scared of gays; I'm not scared of spiders. But if I were to walk in and find one in my bed, I'd be a little worried.
Heres How It Goes...
On a moderate bender, a man could put away 20 units of alcohol - which is the equivalent of 10 pints of beer. On average we eliminate 1 unit of booze an hour from the body. Alcohol affects every organ in the body. It especially affects a person's co-ordination, judgement & perception. All this makes the person much less observant & more reckless.... so it's not my fault... it's the demon drink!

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The curse of the crutched mongo!

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  • the Real Horoscopes!

    Aquarius You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

    Pisces You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

    Aries You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

    Taurus You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamed communist.

    Gemini You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

    Cancer You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a crap. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

    Leo You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and annot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards.

    Virgo You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while doing it. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

    Libra You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

    Scorpio You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

    Sagittarius You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap.

    Capricorn You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

    0 commenti 410 giorni

  • the Value of Drink!

    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    ~ Jack Handy

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
    ~Frank Sinatra

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
    ~ Henny Youngman

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
    ~ Stephen Wright

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
    ~ Brian O'Rourke

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is wine. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
    not go nearly as well with pizza."
    ~ Dave Barry

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
    over and over again that you love them.

    To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

    " WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    0 commenti 434 giorni

  • Lyrics

    I said things that should've been left unsaid
    Too tired to talk & too ill to eat
    too hungry to sleep

    Should've stayed in last night
    Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do
    Going out of my way to get off my face
    & forget about you, i didn't hesitate
    The only way out of this one
    Just admit that what you done
    Wasn't the best idea under the sun

    1 commento 542 giorni

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Garage Flower si è iscritto al gruppo Central Scotland Mods.
  16 ore fa
Garage Flower è diventato amico di Ross Scotland.
  1 giorno fa
St'Ninians
Maschio, 21
"wats happnin folks , So a wee update. ..."

chiudi Commenti

  • Craig Korova
    Craig Korova

    Wats happnin with your phone neebz? Allready had an offer which let me tell you was very tempting. Plus i've had all the fun i could with it! Put it this way, a few people recieved an early morning message on sunday that would have made them erase your contact details.haha. Oh yes!

    23 ore fa
  • SHauney
    SHauney

    mcqs .... i shall see u there , x

    2 giorni fa
  • Claire Carrington
    Claire Carrington

    Feeling good this morning - think it comes with being an old timer! ;) Lesley and I were up early, had breky and out the door by half 11.

    Well some funky shapes were defo thrown last night, I have the throbbing feet to prove it!!!

    We left a little early to get a taxi - couldn't find you though.



    xxxx



    2 giorni fa
  • Danielle McAllister
    luv Danielle McAllister



    I cant believe any sane woman gave you her number when you were in that state that you are in when you get yourself in that state, you know? Did you also ask her for a borrow of her eyeliner or was it not that exact sort of interaction?

    So you, all inebriated and with no capacity for abstract thought whatsoever, managed to use the police as a taxi service? High Five!!

    I want you to be free! I want you to be free on a day that i am free so tomorrow or wednesday. You can pick!

    As far as gifts go, we'll see about that! I believe that i am correct in my belief that you are creating a fabrication of sorts, a fabrication which you would like to be real and have the best intentions of making it so but in reality its still a fabrication and completly full of balls.

    love and snow globes

    xxx

    2 giorni fa
  • Kirk Dennehy
    Kirk Dennehy

    Haha fuckin madness, least uv no lost the fone then. Am knackered canae b arsed wi anythin but no feelin 2 bad otherwise. A drank shitloads and its all a blur, haha. Aye u made an appearance at Mcq's then we hit the town and its pretty much blank from there. Fajitas wid av sorted ye rite oot tae, yummy. A had a chicken dinner, was gid as. Gid night indeed. U off college now then? Am gonae get a marathon sleep later on like.

    2 giorni fa via Cellulare
  • Liam Mailer
    Liam Mailer

    lol aw mate what a nick we wer all in. I got hit and got chucked out for throwing my bottle at the boy lol. was like " is that all you got" ran after him and launched my bottle lol. crazy night x

    2 giorni fa
  • Danielle McAllister
    Danielle McAllister



    You did! I seen you in Corn Exchange, you picked me up, we both almost knocked some people over, my drink went all over the both of us . . . it was a loaded hug!!

    Yeah you were at Shannon's apparently! Asleep on the sofa bed with this Craig Gallagher dude all cosy and comfortable like spoons.

    My hangover isnt too bad actually considering the insane amount of sambuca and vodka i consumed! I cant get drunk here, well i get drunk but its never happy drunk. Its sober drunk where im drunk and im totally aware of it and i feel weird and my brain cant fathom why i cant walk. Bad times.

    So you now have a mobile telephoning device on which i can contact you?! I like this, you have been absent from my inbox for too long. You got a number?

    P.S you free this week?

    love and cranberries
    xxx

    2 giorni fa
  • Danielle McAllister
    Danielle McAllister



    Ya dead man?!

    love and mince pies

    xxx

    2 giorni fa
  • Kirk Dennehy
    luv Kirk Dennehy

    Ooofffftttt a was steamin boats, haha canae mind much at all, did u lose ur fone? Rough the day?

    2 giorni fa via Cellulare
  • Claire Carrington
    luv Claire Carrington

    Hows my boy today - hope you behaved last night!








    The end!

    3 giorni fa
  • Ross Kezmania
    Ross Kezmania

    ano its a fuckin disaster mannnn.

    u get anybody to check it or just done straight off yer ain neck??

    hahah , thts a belter shien.

    a would except u into 4th year with lingo like tht

    xxxx

    5 giorni fa
  • Ross Kezmania
    Ross Kezmania

    hahah , some dirty bushwackers.

    a ken a nearly spewed when a seen 19 quid , did that burd no say it was like 9??

    when u sendin it away jim slip??

    xx

    5 giorni fa
  • Ross Kezmania
    Ross Kezmania

    some boyyyy!!!

    aye man just year 3 , mind put the right codes in for the choices, no wantin yi endin up in aldershot or sumthin haha.

    xxxxx

    6 giorni fa
  • Kirk Dennehy
    luv Kirk Dennehy

    What's hapnin ma half Jamaican friend? Wit u bn up 2? Spent all tht green yet? :L U cumin too oor fitybaw nite oot oan sat? Gonae b absolutely fuckin sensationally shpedoically awesome!

    1 settimana fa via Cellulare
  • Kirk Dennehy
    luv Kirk Dennehy

    Mon the Carse, yee fuckin haa!! Thru to nxt round ae the scottish ma man, was a sell out at the mayfield, haha. Wit u up to anyway? U watchin the ufc the night? Awesome card man, its gonae b magnifico! U got ur 3 case ae beer for 20 bucks yet? Canae miss a deal like tht, titch just bought 90 can for 24 bucks, haha how fuckin mad is tht, 90 can!!

    1 settimana fa via Cellulare
  • SHauney
    SHauney

    Chrystalll, I was jacket shoppin 2day! U wld b impressd, u polluting us with ur presence on boxin day at mcqz? Whats this band u were attempting to tell me about in cape?xx

    1 settimana fa via Cellulare
  • Kirk Dennehy
    luv Kirk Dennehy

    Jamie and his magic torch! Wot tha fuck is up dawg? Oot this wknd? Scottish the mora, better b on this time but it is foggy as fook man. Ufc on the mora 3 great fights anyway, quality it shall b.

    1 settimana fa via Cellulare
  • Ross Kezmania
    Ross Kezmania

    UCAS UCAS UCAS.

    jim it better be gettin done as u recieve this comment!!!

    buy my medicine

    xx

    1 settimana fa
  • Broome
    Broome

    Jamie jim... hows it goin old chap!!

    I finally got my ears around this amorphous androgynous band you've been raving about. They're a feckin' trippy band likes!! They've got sum nae bad tunes tho!! You out an about for the UFC the mora?

    1 settimana fa
  • Danielle McAllister
    luv Danielle McAllister



    I dont really know why i ever write to you on this thing because you never reply. But i like to give you updates and the occasional row about something or other so i suppose im gona keep on doing it!! Not gona lie, i feel like a bit of a weird unwanted stalker sometimes!!

    Anyway . . . the chat is that im coming home on the 16 for christymas, oh yeah a whole 3 weeks!! Just gotta get through my dick exams then im free!!

    I shall be expecting no less than dinner and a huge gift. And by huge i mean little and expensive . . .you know the sort!!

    Love and tinsel
    xxx

    2 settimane fa