1. dA mEsSY eAtEr AkA SaP aKa lIbRaRy LaDy's bEstfRIeNd AkA UmMM 2 mUcH 2 LiSt LoL
2. KiMbOb
3. jOoDlEz AkA RoKsTa CC WAAT!
4. EgK DaT StOlE My GlAsSeS!!!!
5. DaNiKa!!!
6. KaThLeNe - cOuNtDoWn gUrL!? lOl
7. Sa1mAnDeR CC WAAT!
8. SoOeY CC WAAT!
9. TeRrOrIsT CC WAAT!
10. BiGfIzZ
11. TeZzA
12. BeN
13. OwEn
14. LiTtLe gUy
15. DecLAn
16. RIcHeSt gUy EvA lOl

Q: HAVE YOU EVER KISSED 6?:
sHe cAmE On ToO me.... HaHaHa nAhhH nEvA! lOl

Q. WHATS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT NUMBER 13
O GoD hErE We Go.... iCaN GiV U A LiSt???? HahaHAha JKs JKs hEz lYk fAmiLy

Q: WHAT'S THE BEST MEMORY YOU HAVE OF 15?
AcCiDeNtAlLy WiPpINg Him In ThE FaCe WiF mY sCaRf AnD ThAt dAvE uPfOlD HYpNoTiSt sHoW LOL

Q: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF NUMBER 3?
ChEeR Up eMo kiD LoL naHHh ShEs a rOcKstA!! lOl cC WAaT!

Q: WHEN'S THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE GONNA SEE 4?
hU KnOwS BuT ShE BEtTa hAv mY GlAsSeS dAt BlOoDy fEeF!!

Q: IS NUMBER 8 PRETTY?
LoL I HaFtA SaY YeS Or hE'Ll BeAt ME Up!! LoL CYrUs Is PrETtY hAhAhAhAhaHAHA - wHeN HeS dRuNk oR goEs To deNnTs nOw dAtS A DIff StOrY lOL

Q: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF NUMBER 11?
ThA MaN!!! lOl NaHh i DunNNo lOl

Q. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT NUMBER 9?
LoL uMmmMm... WiCkEd pOoL PlAyEr??? LoL

Q: HOW DID YOU MEET 3?
MaClEaNs cOLlEgE LoL

Q: DO YOU THINK 12 WOULD KILL SOMEONE?
AlReAdY hAs... sHuX HeS GaNgZ!!! lOl

Q: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF NUMBER 6?
wAtA FrIeNdLy PeRsOn HAHAhahaHAHAhaha

Q: IS 1 YOUR BEST FRIEND?
AsK NuMbA 1 Lol

Q: HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN NUMBER 13?
SiNcE Yr 9ISH???

Q: HAVE YOU SEEN 2 NAKED?
...nOoOoO WtF lOl

Q: DO YOU THINK 5 HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?
ShEs mY cUzzY InlAw LoL So I DuNfInK sOooO

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU DID WITH 16?
WaLk pAsT HiM At cOuNtDoWn lOl

Q: WHAT DO YOU AND NUMBER 4 TALK ABOUT THE MOST?
WhEn I Am goInG tO GeT mY GlAsSeS bAcK lol

Q. IF YOU COULD GIVE ANYTHING TO NUMBER 7 WHAT WOULD IT BE?
TeNnIs rAQuET??? LoL xBoX 360 GaME??? lOL i dUnNo hAHaHA

Q. WOULD NUMBER 3 AND NUMBER 16 MAKE A GOOD COUPLE?
...DuNnO LoL MaYbEee nOt LOL

Q. IF NUMBER 14 WAS A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD SHE/HE BE?
aLL oV DeM lOl...A Very CoLOrFuL PeRSoN!!??? SoZ AnGeLo lOl DnT REalY KNw

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO 1'S HOUSE?
nO bUt ThE Cc MyT HaV 2 pAy hEr a vIsiT??

Q: WHEN'S THE NEXT TIME YOU'LL SEE 5?
WoRk????? LoL

Q: ARE YOU REAL CLOSE TO 2?
PrOtEcTeE/SiStA

Q: HAVE YOU EVER KISSED 7?
yEaH... oMg fU*k nO

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE MOVIES WITH 8?
o hElL yEaH lOl tHa mEaNeSt fUn HaHahAHa

Q. WHATS NUMBER 9 HOUSE LIKE?
NeXt dOoR tO MaRkS HoUsE hAhAhAhAhAha

Q: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ANGRY WITH 12:
nEvEr lOl...Im nOt An AnGrY pErSoN HaHa

Q: WOULD YOU EVER MAKE A MOVE ON 10?
GeT fU*KeD LOL

Q: WHAT DO YOU AND NUMBER 1 TALK ABOUT THE MOST?
aSk nUmBa 1

boy- hey, hun
girl- hey
boy- i missed u at school 2day, y weren't u there?
girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.
boy- oh rele? y?
girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.
boy- oh
girl- so wht did we do in math 2day?
boy- u didnt miss ne thing that great.......just lots of notes
girl- ok good
boy- yeah
girl- hey i have a question......
boy- ok, ask away
girl-........how much do u love me?
boy- u kno i love u more than anything
girl- yeah.....
boy- y did u ask?
girl-................>silence<.........
.
boy- is something wrong?
girl- no nothing at all
boy- good.
girl- ..............how much do u care about me?
boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.
girl- u would?
boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there something wrong??
girl- no, everythings fine......
boy- are u sure?
girl- yeah.
boy- ok.......i hope so.
girl- ..............would u die for me?
boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun
girl- rele?
boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???
girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.
boy- ............ok
girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at school.
boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.
girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:

boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?
friend- no
boy- oh.
friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.
boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.
friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes
boy- yeah........but not her.
friend- idk wht else 2 say, man.
boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.
friend- yeah i gotta get to science, ttyl.

THAT NIGHT:

-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
girl- hello?
boy- hey
girl- oh, hi.
boy- y weren't u at school 2day?
girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.
boy- are u sick?
girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my other line.
boy- ill wait.
girl- it may take a while, ill call u later.
boy-........alright, i love u hun.
>very long pause<
girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we should break up.
boy- wht???
girl- its the best thing for us right now.
boy- y????
girl- i love u.
>click<

THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE.

boy- hey dude
friend- hey
boy- whts up
friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately?
boy- no
friend- so u didnt hear?
boy- hear wht?
friend- um idk if i should be the one to tell u......
boy- dude, wtf tell me
friend- uh....call this number....6027566 boy- ok............

BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL

-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is nurse beckam.
boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my friend.
voice- what is her name, sir?
(boy gives info)
voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients here.
boy- rele? y? wht happened??? how is she???
voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3.
boy- WHT HAPPENED??!!!!
voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye.
boy- WAIT! NO!
*dial tone*

BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.

boy- omg are u ok??
girl- ..................
boy- sweetie!! talk to me!!
girl- i..........
boy- u wht?? U WHT???
girl- i have cancer and im on life support
boy- .....................>breaks into tears<......................
girl- they're taking me off 2night
boy- y??
girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt
boy- y didnt u tell me????
girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u.
boy- u could never hurt me
girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout u.
boy- ?
girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you.
boy- ...........
girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here w/u
boy- then y'd u break up w/me?
nurse- young man, visiting hours are over.

BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AN

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fu*k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fu*king right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fu*k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 bux to come to the cinema and stare at the fu*king floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fu*king does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here? Knob head!

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fu*king McTosser! ...

...and there you have it lol