Being gay is healthy and normal and you are not alone, but you're right, we are treated differently. If you kiss your boyfriend in a public place, get ready for some strange looks and possibly even hostility. Why? Because society tells us that being gay is wrong. Turn on your TV. Go on! Come back in an hour and tell me how many positive images of gay relationships you see (I'll make it easy and let you use Sky TV and Cable too). How did you get on? That bad huh? I bet you didn't spot even one positive portrayal of a gay relationship. What you will have seen are many images of "happy" straight families: a mum, a dad, and a couple of kids. This is what you have been watching right from when you were first sat in front of the TV when you were a child. This is what we are told is the only way to be. It's no wonder many gay people doubt themselves, especially when just starting to experience feelings of attraction to members of the same sex in adolescence - simply because a lot of the time, as young people, we aren't told that gay people even exist!
We don't have equal rights with straight people, or equal standing in our relationships when compared to those of straight couples. We can't get married in the UK, we can experience problems getting mortgages with our boyfriends or girlfriends, and only in recent years has the age of consent been lowered to 16, the same as that of heterosexual couples.

Unfortunately it doesn't end with the media's portrayal of "normality". Schools don't teach us about homosexuality, leaving young gay people feeling isolated and dismissed, almost like homosexuality doesn't exist at all. Because we are bought up to generally regard homosexuality as wrong and even perverted, people can react very negatively to homosexuals; the bully in the playground, the ignorant manager at work, and the confused parent who knows absolutely nothing about gay people, except for ignorance based on inaccuracies about what being gay means. People fear what they don't understand.

With all these factors to think on, is it any wonder young gay people like yourself often feel confused and scared.

Being gay (homosexual) is being sexually and sometimes romantically attracted to a member of the same sex. It means two men or two women getting together, maybe falling in love and having a relationship - or possibly just to have sex - exactly like a straight (heterosexual) couple (male with female) might do.
The feelings of attachment and love are the same for gay people: they like to live together and build secure futures with one another. They like to share the good and bad that life chucks at them, share intimacy and feelings, and they hurt when their relationships end. As Boy George once sang about being gay: "It's the same thing in reverse, nothing better, nothing worse".

No one knows why some of us are gay. People argue that it's due to a child's upbringing. Some say there is a gay gene some people are born with, much like the stuff that determines hair colour or personality traits. What do you think? It may take you a while as you get older to really know if you are gay. It took me a while to put a name to the way I was feeling through school and college. There's no time-limit or reason to declare what you are; just let your feelings have freedom to develop and don't feel bad.

Maybe - like myself and many others have experienced - you have a crush on a male friend or tutor. Maybe you're a girl who fancies a female pop star. Maybe you just feel differently from the other guys and girls you hang out with.

Many people experience crushes on members of the same sex in their teens, this doesn't mean you are gay necessarily, nor do early sexual experiences with members of the same sex mean you will necessarily go on to be a gay adult. In time you'll work out who you are most attracted to and what feels right for you.

Some people consider themselves to be bisexual, or being attracted to both men and women. It's easiest to think of sexuality as a sort of scale: at one end you have straight people, at the other, gay. In the middle you have many subtle levels or mixes of both.

Some people may suggest that being gay is a choice. It's not. It's a natural part of you like eye colour or your sense of humour

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