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- Hearing you talk is like chewing tin-foil..
- Me, Myself, and I
- Just moved to Sydney to do Pro Wrestling school and follow my dream of getting dressed up in spandex and pretending to beat someone up.
A few things about living in Australia-
*Australia is warm
*Satan would sweat like a beast here
*There's lots of bugs and even more people
*My flat mates are fat.....reeeeeaaaaally fat
I*'m starting to get an accent
*I work at the most violent bar in all of Sydney
*Dispite the ratio of woman to men(3 to 1),I am still single
*I want to kill a Wiggle
- All that remains, METALLICA, Lamb of God, Unearth, Killswitch Engage, Theory of a Deadman, Seven Dust, Breaking Benjiman, Sinate, Bullet for my Valentine, Trivium, ill Nino, Staind, Motley Crue, Motor Head, Extreme, Skid Row, STEPHEN LYNCH(biggest arsehole EVER), Crossfade, Godsmack, Sum 41, Avenge Sevenfold, Drowning Pool ....I could really go on all fuck'n day, I love all types of music, the one's I've listed were just off the top of my head because I like the heavier stuff most
- Desperado, Ong Bak, The 13th Warrior, The Devil's Advocate, 7even, Sleepy Hollow, The Libertine, Constantine, The Protector, Predator 1 and 2, The Blade Trilogy, Interview with a Vampire, Queen of the Damned, Underworld 1 and 2(Kate Beckinsale is so god damn hot), The Crow, Trains Spotting, Snatch, Mortal Kombat, The Condemned, The Last Boy Scout, The Die hard Trilogy, Terminator 1 and 2, American Pie 1, 2 and 3, hostel 1 and 2....Basically anything thats got something to do with Vampires, Apocalyptic/Armagedd
on themes/theory's, Heaps of Gore or really brutal fight scenes in it
- Thai boxing, Brazilian Jujitsu, Vale Tudo, Cage Fighting, Pro Wrestling, Pool, Texas holding rules Poker, Strip poker, Skinny Dipping, Pole Dancing, Running from/into Mascots(at high velocities) and Drinking Marathons
- Scared Of
- Getting drunk and setting my balls alight yet again, Road signs when I've got my head out the window of a car, some forms of country music, The movie"The sound of Music", Mascots for sports teams and of Movie Characters(I.e-at theme parks like Spider man, Batman, Winnie the Pooh, ect), Waking up in a bed with a really large Russian Transvestite with "Helga" tattooed on my arse...yea that's pretty much it....ooooo and of cannibalistic babies
- Happiest When
- I'm with my friends/drinking with my friends, Sleeping, In a ring(a wrestling or boxing ring you dirty chodes)....plus playing or listening to music
- I hate
- Poor Hygiene, Disloyalty, Dishonor, P
eople who don't have a sense of humor/lack of self worth/lack of pride/lack of passion and closed minded people who obviously can't see past their own nose to care about other people or their opinions
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris ha
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