26 Reasons I'll do Another Promotion Course...


1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of the week.

2. Spending 16 hours a day for 8 straight days training for something that there is a 99.9% chance that I'll never do and spending another 7 hours on uniform maintenance, studying and shitting myself that I won't pass and have to come back and do it all over again. Hmmm… what to do with that left over hour.

3. WWWDWOA? (What Would We Do Without Acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a subordinate to any one of the 40 or so people on the course who out-rank me. Approximately everyone.

7. Being 16 years old and having somebody inspect me everyday to make sure I put my clothes on properly and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Having to wear a hat every time I want to go outside.

9. There just aren't that many opportunities out there where I can rest assured everyone I have to live with for a week are just waiting to screw me over in any possible way.

10. Getting to eat steak at the mess that once you cut into it you think they have sprung a surprise first aid test on you. I just hope the poor thing had a DNR.

11. Being formed-up standing to attention where a piece of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the notice board and on the course outline, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.

12. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my sister's pet iguana's. I am an only child.

13. I do not have to respect the person. I only have to respect what they wear on their shoulder or sleeve. That's all that is stopping me from…

14. I hate good food.

15. I'd rather be here because I hate spending time with my family over my holidays.

16. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world too?

17. Is that local time or Zulu?

18. If someone gets in trouble I like to stand by and watch them have to stand in front of the boss (captain), manager (lieutenant), assistant manager (second lieutenant) plus anyone else who has nothing better to do so that they can all chew their ass.

19. Can we be tested to make sure we are all physically fit on the course? Only please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old Commissioned Officers.

20. Because only during magic shows and training hours are the rules of logic suspended.

21. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get promoted by accumulating points for not getting promoted.

22. It's fun to go to medical to get your eye checked out and have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other one".

23. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about 4:00pm even though I finished my entire lesson plan and practiced it by ten in the morning is really fun to do…it builds character.

24. There possibly isn't anything better than having the shit ripped out of you and the rest of the platoon for something that only a few mentally diminutive individuals accomplished.

25. When you've been doing turns at the halt by numbers since 7:00am and it's finally rolled on to 9:00pm, there isn't anything that makes me happier than a no-hope wannabe NCO yelling out my name and picking me out for some small fault when his personal drill is that of a newbie recruit that has a brain capacity of a chimp.

26. When you finally get to go back to your own unit you can forget about most of the shit you were taught at the course, unless you have got yourself an overall NYC or have to sit a re-test.