Early hours, open road,
Family of five - on their way home
Having enjoyed a day in the sun,
Their encounter with gore has just begun
A homicidal fool not knowing left from right,
Now has the family in his sight
Trying to perceive if he's blind or insane,
He steers his car into the other lane

Both of them collide, expressions horrified
Head on at full speed, the vultures will soon feed

The father of three was impaled on the wheel,
As his skull became part of the dash
His eyeballs ejected his sight uneffected,
He saw his own organs collapse

His seatbelt was useless for holding him back,
It simply cut him in two
Legs were crushed, out leaked puss
As his spinal cord took off and flew
The mother took a flight through the glass,
And ended up impaled on a sign
Her intestines stretched from the car down the road
For a quarter of mile

Fourth child on the way, won't live another day
Fetus on the road, with mangled little bones
Little children fly, not a chance to wonder why
Smashed against the ceiling, all their skin burning and peeling

Schards of glass explode, chest and skull now implode
Corpses they've become, and graves will have to be dug

Underneath the wheels, burning rubber on your face
Bleeding from your eyes, the slaughtered victim lies
Knowing what he's done, he just backs up one more time
Laughing at the mess, a pile of meat on the street

One child left slowly dying now, arteries gushing blood
Now it's time to feed on flesh, the gore has just begun
Early hours, open road,
Family of five - on their way home
Having enjoyed a day in the sun,
Their encounter with gore has just begun

Early hours, open road,
Family of five - on their way home
Having enjoyed a day in the sun,
Their encounter with gore has just begun
A homicidal fool not knowing left from right,
Now has the family in his sight

The look of death in my eye
Surely no-one survive
Just a pile of mush
Left to dry in the sun

I see my fresh kill
Left in the road
Remains of your body
Mangled and torn

I see my fresh kill
Left in the road
Remains of your body
Mangled and torn

His seatbelt was useless for holding him back,
It simply cut him in two
Legs were crushed, out leaked puss
As his spinal cord took off and flew
The mother took a flight through the glass,
And ended up impaled on a sign
Her intestines stretched from the car down the road
For a quarter of mile

One child left slowly dying now, arteries gushing blood
Now it's time to feed on flesh, the gore has just begun

1.Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked

2.Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them

3.When in an others lair, show him respect or else do not go there

4.If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy

5.Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal

6.Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved

7.Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained

8.Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself

9.Do not harm little children

10.Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food

11.When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him

CHUCK NORRIS RENTS VIDEOS AND NEVER REWINDS THEM, EVER.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS WAS A CHILD, HE MADE HIS MOTHER FINISH HIS VEGETABLES.

EVERY MATHEMATICAL INEQUALITY OFFICIALLY ENDS WITH "< CHUCK NORRIS".

IF YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT'S BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS SPARED YOUR LIFE.

CHUCK NORRIS WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE ON A UNICYCLE TO PROVE TO LANCE ARMSTRONG IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL. HE THINKS YELLOW WRISTBANDS ARE GAY.

EVERY DAY IS THE LONGEST DAY OF CHUCK NORRIS'S LIFE, FOR TERRORISTS, THE SHORTEST.

WHAT COLOR IS CHUCK NORRIS'S BLOOD? TRICK QUESTION, CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT BLEED.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE FORGOT WHERE HE PUT HIS KEYS. HE THEN SPENT THE NEXT
HALF-HOUR TORTURING HIMSELF UNTIL HE GAVE UP THE LOCATION OF THE KEYS.

WHEN CHUCK STARES INTO THE SUN, THE SUN FLINTCHES.

IF IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN, LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN, AND FEELS LIKE CHICKEN, BUT CHUCK NORRIS SAYS IT'S BEEF. THEN IT'S BEEF.

LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT, THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE CONSCIOUS RIGHT NOW IS BECAUSE CHUCK NORRIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE CARRYING YOU.

JAMES BOND HAS A LICENSE TO KILL. CHUCK NORRIS DOESN’T NEED ANY LICENSES.

CHUCK NORRIS' CALENDER GOES STRAIGHT FROM MARCH 31ST TO APRIL 2ND, NO ONE FOOLS CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE DOUBLE TEAMED A GIRL, BY HIMSELF.

1.6 BILLION CHINESE ARE ANGRY WITH CHUCK NORRIS, SOUNDS LIKE A FAIR FIGHT.

CHUCK NORRIS WAS NEVER ADDICTED TO HEROIN. HEROIN WAS ADDICTED TO CHUCK NORRIS.

WHEN THE KIDS BORN IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY GROW UP THEY WILL NOT
HAVE HEROES, BUT RATHER CHUCK NORRIS. CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONLY HERO.

CHUCK NORRIS PLAYED RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH A FULLY LOADED GUN AND WON.

WHEN LIFE GAVE CHUCK NORRIS LEMONS, HE USED THEM TO KILL TERRORISTS.

CHUCK NORRIS HATES LEMONADE.

CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T MISS. IF HE DIDN'T HIT YOU IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS
SHOOTING AT ANOTHER TERRORIST TWELVE MILES AWAY.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE WON A GAME OF CONNECT 4 IN 3 MOVES.

YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER. CHUCK NORRIS CAN MAKE HIM DRINK.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE ATE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS. THEY MADE HIM BLINK.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE KILLED SO MANY TERRORISTS THAT AT ONE POINT, THE #5 CIA MOST WANTED FUGITIVE WAS AN 18-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER IN MALAYSIA WHO DOWNLOADED THE MOVIE DODGEBALL.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS MASTURBATES, ALL WOMEN WITHIN 3 MILES HAVE ORGASMS.

WHEN YOU OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS, CHUCK NORRIS JUMPS OUT.

SIMON SAYS SHOULD BE RENAMED TO CHUCK NORRIS SAYS BECAUSE IF CHUCK NORRIS SAYS SOMETHING THEN YOU BETTER DO IT.

KILLING CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T MAKE HIM DEAD. IT JUST MAKES HIM ANGRY.

CHUCK NORRIS WOULD VOTE FOR HILLARY CLINTON TO BE PRESIDENT JUST SO HE COULD ASSASSINATE HER.

CHUCK NORRIS DOES THE SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN INK.

WHEN GOOGLE CAN'T FIND SOMETHING, IT ASKS CHUCK NORRIS FOR HELP.

IN 96 HOURS CHUCK NORRIS HAS KILLED 93 PEOPLE AND SAVED THE WORLD 4 TIMES.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE?

THERE IS THE RIGHT WAY, THE WRONG WAY, AND THE CHUCK NORRIS WAY. IT'S BASICALLY THE RIGHT WAY BUT FASTER AND MORE DEATHS.



WHY DID THE TERORRIST CROSS THE STREET? TO GET HIT BY A CAR BEFORE CHUCK NORRIS COULD GET HIM.

WHEN CHUCK NORRIS WATCHES A POT, IT BOILS IMMEDIATELY.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE KILLED A GROUP OF SAMURAI WARRIORS WITH ONLY A BALL POINT PEN. THIS LEAD TO THE PHRASE "THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD."

IN KINDERGARTEN, CHUCK NORRIS KILLED A TERRORIST FOR SHOW AND TELL.

IT WOULD ONLY TAKE 1 BULLET FOR CHUCK NORRIS TO KILL 50 CENT.

CHUCK NORRIS HAS BEEN TO MARS. THAT’S WHY THERES NO LIFE ON MARS.

WHEN THE BOOGIE MAN GOES TO SLEEP, HE CHECKS HIS CLOSET FOR CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS CAN ASSEMBLE THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF AN IKEA STORE WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS OR AN ALAN KEY.

SCISSORS ARE SCARED TO RUN WITH CHUCK NORRIS.

CHUCK NORRIS GOT HELLEN KELLER TO TALK.

PEOPLE WITH AMNESIA STILL REMEMBER CHUCK NORRIS