1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some
reason, that's ok.
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling
our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and
honestly believe we could do it too.
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like
a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out as just 4 hours ago.
5. We drop our 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice/poutine on the
floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's
business.
6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including
people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH.
7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new
song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"
8. We're suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and so is
the geek next to
us.
9. We don't see anything wrong with making out with
profs/co-workers/boss
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely
overwhelming to us.
11. Our eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.
12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we're really good at it
13. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us by
giving us just orange juice, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.
14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like
the floor.. or like the mop.
15. We start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.
17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going >>home,
we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a
quick nap.
19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink.
20. We take our shoes off because a) they're ridiculously
impractical.. but soo beautiful! b) We believe it's the shoes'
fault that we can't walk straight.
21. We feel oddly comfortable sitting on the toilet peeing while having a full blown conversation with each other.
22. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter
who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call
each other the next day.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...

1) Innovative
2) Preliminary
3) Proliferation
4) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

5) Specificity
6) British Constitution
7) Passive-aggressive disorder
Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

9) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
10) Nope, no more booze for me.
11) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
12) No kebab for me, thank you.
13) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
14) I'm not interested in fighting you.
15) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
16) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
17) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
1 I must be going home now as I have work in the morning