Tommy DeVito: In this day and age, what the fuck is this world coming to? I can't believe this, prejudice against - a Jew broad - prejudice against Italians.
[first lines]
Henry Hill: The fuck is that?
Jimmy Conway: What's the fuckin' matter with you? What - what is the fuckin' matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin'? What are you, a fuckin' sick maniac?
Tommy DeVito: How am I meant to know you're kidding? What you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my fuckin' balls?
Jimmy Conway: I'm fuckin' kidding with you! You fuckin' shoot the guy?
Henry Hill: He's dead.
Tommy DeVito: Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. Fuckin' rat anyway. His family's all rats. He'll grow up to be a rat.
Jimmy Conway: You stupid bastard, I can't fuckin' believe you. Now, you're gonna dig the fuckin' thing now. You're gonna dig the hole. You're gonna do it. I got no fuckin' lime. You're gonna do it.
Tommy DeVito: Who the fuck cares? I'll dig the fuckin' hole. I don't give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fuckin' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?
Frankie Carbone: I could never hit that number
[unintelligible]
Tommy DeVito: Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. What the fuck does 528 have to do with 460? I can't believe this guy. Fuckin' 528 ain't even close to 460. Now what the fuck does that got to do with anything?
Frankie Carbone: Eh, I been playin' that numba for three years
Pete the Killer: [points] By the way, I took care of that thing for ya
Tommy DeVito: Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.
Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.
Tommy DeVito: You know Spider, you're a fuckin' mumbling stuttering little fuck. You know that?
Henry Hill: [narrating] And when the cops, when they assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what'd he do? He made 'em partners.
Henry Hill: Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.
Henry Hill: [narrating] Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.
Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like:
Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.
Morrie: What am I? A schmuck on wheels?
Henry Hill: All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. That's what it's all about. That's what the FBI can never understand - that what Paulie and the organization offer is protecti

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