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Infos formation

3e Cycle:

Dartington College of Arts, 2007
Choreography,Dartington, Devon

École:

Medina High School, 2004

École:

Osborne Middle School, 1999

Infos professionnelles

Employeur:

Island Sailing Club

Poste occupé:

Waitress

Période:

Déc, 2007 - Actuel

Ville:

Cowes

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• Sazzy in New York (5)
• Soul Surviver 2006 (7)

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• again... blah

  well seeing as I haven't posted in here for a while, I've been keeping my own little journal in a new book so its easier to reach when I need it and not worry about being online. Which is handy I admit. Now its like this little girl "oh I love such and such and I really hate her/him" its just a collection of thoughts really.
  
  Having to make big decisions is really hard. I mean I knew I wanted to go to University and do something more with my life. But now I've graduated things are more harder than what they were. I mean I know what I want but doing it is something that is really hard. Trying to sort out dance classes is a good thing but I can't seem to get them sorted. Trying to figure out if I should move out of my parents is hard because I don't get enough coming in from work. And that is just my own little problems.
  
  Then there is the factor of where to settle down with Eddie. I mean I have no idea, either I am frightened I am going to make the wrong decision and its going to result in Eddie walking away because he doesn't comfortable. How can one really decide what to do when one can never tell the reactions of the situation. NO matter how much I try to talk about the situation I end up being more confused than when I started as new problems arise and I don't know who to react to things. I just want everything to sort itself out because I can't work it out. So because I can't work it out, I end up beating myself up about it and then I get annoyed that I am beating myself up and not working things out. Then its back to not being able to sort things out.
  
  Even my mother isn't being very helpful as she knows that I may not feel comfortable moving to America but I will go if Eddie really wants me to as all I care about is him. But being torn like is is annoying. Things just aren't going to plan. I just suck at everything right now.
  
  I mean I won't be able to move out because I am low on money. I won't be to sort out who should move and who shouldn't. I can't even think about eating at the moment unless I feel ill. I just concentrate on things. At work I fell like the odd one out because I am the only goth/emo. I don't seem to be fitting in every where. My best friend isn't talking to me much. I'm starting to loose contact with uni friends. I just feel I should be locked up as it will be easier for everyone. Shut off from the world so I don't hurt anyone.
  
  I just don't know how long I am going to last because my mind feels like its full and no more information can be added into. I just feel like I am getting to old.
  
  sorry but I just don't feel well at the moment. So much for being the happy cheerful sazzy right.

  0 commentaires 667 jours

• I Didn't Get A Thing

  I showed you kindness,
  While you showed me anger,
  Belittling me at every chance you got.
  
  I showed you I cared,
  Yet you showed me your hatred,
  Yelling at me for no reason.
  
  I gave you gifts,
  You game the cold shoulder,
  Never giving me any notice or affection.
  
  I tried my best to love you,
  While you showed your self obsession,
  Not bothering to think of my feelings.
  
  I gave you my soul,
  Yet you gave me pain,
  With all your verbal abuse.
  
  I gave you my life,
  You gave me a reason to die,
  As you took away everything I ever had.

  0 commentaires 678 jours

• Happiness

  Well recently things have really been looking up for me I have to admit. I don’t know but after getting a little nudge into the right direction. I have finally come to realise that dwelling on the bad points in life doesn’t mean shit. Instead I should be looking to the future and what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it. So what there are bad points in life, just get over them but focusing on the great things in life. I was thinking too much on how much I miss Eddie rather than focusing on the fact that soon enough we will be together forever and that’s what really matters in life. Not the crap life throws out you but the great things fate has brought your way.
  
  Also I finally got a job, although at first it is only for a day to see how I do and if they really need staff then they can call me. It will be a great chance to get some money in and afford to buy Eddie the greatest present he wants. Although it is only as a waitress, it is in a private Sailing club so it’s going to be an ease into the job and hopefully get me to meet more people at least. Rather than being stuck in my room like I have been for the past two months. I have to thank my older brother for suggesting I help out at the place he works at as they need staff during the day for those who are not at school. So keep your fingers crossed.
  
  Finally, I managed to get a new Digital Camera. I’ve missed having my own camera as I tend to get bored and experiment with hair and make-up so I take pictures to see what works. (a little bit of information for those who wonder why I take so many photo’s of myself, so I don’t have a big ego if that is what you are thinking). My mum bets that Eddie will find my old camera now. Although if he hasn’t looked in the baby travelling bag on the back of the stroller, then maybe you should try there as it’s the only place I didn’t look.
  
  I don’t really know what else to say except that I finally feel better about things. YAY!
  

  0 commentaires 737 jours

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• Still think you know me?? 0 participants
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• Dessiner
• Écrire sur le tableau

• 
  anime girl

  hehe just for u sazzy ^^ LOL hope u like it hun ^^

  Elizabeth 0 réponses
• 
  happy and mad

  hiei 0 réponses
• 
  howdy!

  hello!! see my drawin is BAD!!!

  Sazzy 1 réponse

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