Paddy went to the races, Knowing absolutely nothing about horses he picks the one with the best name, Sir Lancelot. Anyway this horse has odds of 2000 to 1. Any body with racing experience knows that a snail would give a horse like this a run for it's money.
Anyway, they get to the loading blocks and after several minutes they start to race.
After a couple hundred meters Sir Lancelot who happened to be doing quite well suddenly turned around and started heading back to the starting block. Paddy started getting all exited and stood up screaming go Sir Lancelot, go Sir Lancelot. A few seconds later Sir Lancelot crossed the finish line the opposite way. Old Paddy was ecstatic and yelled out I'm rich.
His English mate who was with him said 'Hey Paddy why are you so happy, that was one dud of a horse, For crying out loud, he ran the wrong bloody way'.
'That does not matter' Paddy said with a grin 'I backed it both ways'

Oh I know, old and fat now haha!!

I'm good just working away really. Get down to Newton about once a month but never really out.

What about yourself, what you been up to?

Hey Mr Fisher

How the hell are you? Long time no see!

have you recovered from wiggy show??? did you get your taxi ha ha ha?????????????

Hey U! Managed to get onto bebo in Morocco - sad I know! Hope the fertiliser is going well. Just wanted to say hello and send you some sunny luv from Agadir. Off to Marakech tomorrow - bus leaves at 6am!!! ouchy! will give you a tinkle later ... counting the sleeps mphwa xxx

howz the dirtiest man in the shire? hahaha alright ivie old boy? u helping training this year? ive started my fitness regime and will be fit and ready for october?!

Hey you! Just thought I'd send you some luv from Northern Ireland. Shall I bring you home a REAL pint of Guinness?!?!?

Axx

Hey lovely, well done with your games today. I really enjoyed watching you play. Hope you managed to get yourself all sorte out and back behind the bar. Will speak to you later, but have some luv for now. I hope you have a great day/night, you deserve it after all your hard work. Now...I'm really going up the road! Axx

Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! I feel my head may explode! I'm going to take up boxing ... I need a new way of releasing frustration! Grrrrr! Hope you're having a better day ... speak to you later. Axx

Sending you some luv ... just because I can! hope you're feeling better. xxx

ahright ivie,hows tricks i was just wondering if their was any thing i can do 4 the realy 4 life thing that we r doing.

Hey Mr NSRFC Team Captain! Just a wee update to say we have now banked £9,900 ... aiming to break the £10,000 target by Friday! Well done with all your hard work on fundraising so far ... you truly are amazing and together we really are making a difference. Keep up the good work, you are a true inspiration. Thank you x