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Glass of shot - Glass of buckfast
Bottle of wreck the house - Bottle of buckfast, also see Bottle of Beat The Wife
Wee men - Pleural of woman
Bottle of Beat the wife - Bottle of buckfast, also see Bottle of wreck the house
Bourne - Not as you would think, part of a movie title, this is actually burn, short for Ashburn, which is a hotel with a completely shit niteclub
Short - Clothing worn above the waist, known otherwise as a shirt
Board - Not a plank of wood, but a fit female
Oxygen Thief - Person who is so useless the very fact that they breathe is in effect stealing oxygen
Waste of a white skin - Racist term, implying the person is that useless they should not be white
French - me
Cellar - Place where retards hang out
Poke - Ice cream in a cone
Kebab King - Posionous food establishment, highly recommended after the bourne or if you are feeling suicidal
Brut - Not an aftershave, but an ugly bird, opposite to board
Nutbar - A brut, with a physcotic personality, commonly seen with French
Swally - To drink alcohol
Go on the swally - To go on a bender
FuckBastard - Term used by Joe French, to put 2 swear words in one, and cause maximum insult
Murt - Cousin Fucker
Wait till I tell ye - Way of starting a sentence when you are going to bullshit, example "Wait till I tell ye, I'm off the swally for at least 2 months", see 'Fact' if you want to emphazise the lie
Fact - Commonly added to the end of written sentences to emphazise the untrueness of the sentence
Cream bun - Protestant
Hun - See 'cream bun'
Fenian - Catholic (opposite of 'cream bun')
Away in the head - Person who is fast becoming a 'nutbar'
Wind you neck in - Calm down, before you get slapped
Are you away - Sounds stupid but this actually means are you about too leave
Are you gettin - Means how can I help you, what staff in shops/pubs say after ignoring you for about 15 mins while sending text messages etc...

NEW ADDITIONS 03-Apr-06 (kindly supplied by Gerbal)
Jivin - not nice, can be used pretty much for anything thats jivin. Best used by sayin "uuuggghh thats jivin" and pulling a baek after it.
Baek - pulling a face to imply not nice, as in the sorta face people pull after downing bottle of sambuka in one go!

NEW ADDITIONS FROM PETER NEWBROOK
French, what kind of Lurgan man are you?, missing out such classics as; flooer, meaning floor, dooer meaning door, dirtbird, meaning dartboard, borger, meaning beef burger(without cheese), i could go on but i couldn't be bothered. My only advice to you is actually spend some time here and then comment on the way we talk you fucking Belfast wannabee anyway your not even from Lurgan you Craigavon ratbag.... before you start i know i'm not either, but at least i live here.............. and i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!


New Addition 18 July - Stolen from Joe Mc Caughleys site
Bastid - Bastard (can't believe I missed this one, will have to go back up to Lurgan this weekend to make sure there aren't any others).
Joe has just instand message me, to let me know about a serious oversight here. I forgot one of the best lurgan words:
Fuckwit - Person from Lurgan

Jab - No this isn't someone sticking a needle in you, this is something you do for a living.
Boucin - Food which is not very nice, normally purchased from the Kebab King
Boggin - Same as boucin, only applies to females
Slapper - Females from Lurgan, who shag anything in site

Added by some random person (maria) - 14-Aug-2006
Dorty - Means dirty, can be used in following context
Your short is dorty you fuckbastard - you shirt is dirty
She is a Dorty bitch - That girl puts out too easy - hold on till I chat her up!
Guddies - Trainers
Porple - The colour purple
Yela - The opposite to Porple, Yellow!
Twenney - Twenty
Lyke - Used to punctuate a verbal sentence (as in full stop in a written sentence).

Added by minister Mc Dowell 27-Oct-2006
Coul - Cold, as in its really fu