TWILIGHT
All of you fangirls, why are you fancying a fictional character?
No guys are like that fag in real life.
Dear God D: I read 4 pages of the book, seriously, it didn't cease to amaze me that it was so un-capturing.
I mean, I read like its going out of fashion, want to read a good book? Pick up a Stephen King book.
It totally lacked emotive language at the start to make you carry on reading.
Watched the film.
DONT GET ME STARTED.
Too late; *clears throat*
The storyline, its based around the most cliche and basic love storyline.
They meet, one is all arsey or mysterious, the other one gets offended, then one day their all like "hey ;D" then they fall in love with a few feuds and near death experiences in there.
Almost exactly the same storyline of Mr. Darcey and Elizabeths love in Pride and Prejudice, just with vampires and its a few hundred years on.
Very predictible in my opinion.
Its a film with vampires? NOT ONE FUCKING FANG SHOWN.
What BINT of a film maker makes a film about vampires without fangs!?!?!?!?
Vampires DO NOT sparkle in the sun, they get injured in some form eg. burning
Ahaha, what made me laugh, Edward was all like "My family, we see ourselves as vegetarians, we eat animals instead of humans" Thats fucking ridiculous, its still eating meat Edward you stupid cunt.
What happened to the whole turning into a bat, then flying? Nooooo, Edward can superjump from tree to tree, hes a vampire, not a flying squirrel.
Dont know about you, the first thing that pops into my head when someone mentions vampires is lust, vampires life revolves around lust and later drinking their victims blood. NOT ONE SEKS SCENE IN TWILIGHT, and Edward 'loved' her, he didnt lust her at all.
Ever heard of Vlad III the Impaler, a Romanian king that reigned in the 1400's, he impaled roughly 80,000 people on stakes? WELL now you have heard of him, every vampire story is based around him, thats where the whole 'stake a vampire in the heart to kill it' comes from.
Edward, when he wanted to kill this vampire that was after his missus, he REPEATEDLY said "Cut him up and burn him, its the only way"
EPIC FAIL EDWARD
EPIC FAIL TWILIGHT

*breathes*

In the girls toilets
Becky: I had a big mac yesterday.
Jess: She had a big mac yesterday.
Me: DONT BE RUDE


In history, doing 'wanted' posters of Jack the Ripper
Josh: CAN ANYBODY DRAW A TURBAN?


On msn to imy
Imy: My trousers fell down twice today, once when I went up to my mate to say something very important.
Me: Gutting, just gutting.
Imy: I went the same colour as my hair. I have good pants on though, the ones you bummed me in.


In history, we had this old supply teacher
Me: Sir, can we work in pairs?
Sir: I'd rather you do in pencil, yes.
Me: But can we work in pairs. -does hand actions for pairs-
Sir: Yeah, the pencils are over there.


In history [again], watching Titanic where shes naked
Callum: Look at that side-boob.
Callum and Dale: Look at that side-boob, that turn you on? Well it shouldnt, because thats my side-boob.


In french, when someone asks whos taking french
Sam: French is the way backwards.


In french, we couldnt find dirty words in the dictionary
Kieran: Miss, how do you say 'cum' in french?
Miss: In what context?
Kieran: Like say, when someones cumming... over here.


When I'm worried about Kyle being drunk, I call him
Sammi: -picks up- Hello.
Me: Hi, whos this?
Sammi: -girly voice- This is Emma.
Me: What?
Sammi: -girly voice- Its Emma, Kyles girlfriend.
Me: -giggles- No, really, who is it?
Sammi: EMMA


In tech [food]
Jess: How can I make that orange come..
Me: -interrupts- I dont know, never tried. Maybe you could rub it. Peel back the skin? Sometimes juice might come out.


In french, doing translation
Jess: What does this word mean?
Me: Maybe you should look at my dick... tionary.


On stephs birthday, convincing her dad she doesnt smoke
Steph: Dad, I dont smoke.
Me: Ok, out of ALL of the things shes had in her mouth.. A fag isnt one of them..


In the car with my brother, Kyle and Sammi
Kyle: Sammi's afraid of unicorns
Me: Wtf?
Sammi: Not even being funny, I'm afraid of large holes.


Sammi's on my computer, looking through my songs
Sammi: 48 manson songs..
Kyle: BITCH! -slaps me-


I'm sitting at my computer on good friday
Daniel: -bursts into my room- HAPPY DEATH OF JESUS!!


In french.. Again
Miss: Copy what it says on the board.
Josh: Activity? Sex. Eating? Minge. With who? Clair. When? Saturday night. Wearing? Nothing.
Me: WTF!?


In history, watching Titanic
Fella on ship: -stands on edge, cocks gun and shoots himself- BANG!
Me: AND THE DIRT IS GONE


Me and Steph have just walked out of school
Steph: -does a really cute jumpy thing-
Me: AWWW
Steph: Haha, I'm older than you too. I love being cute.
Me: Your older, smaller, cuter. But your not more mature
Steph: I'm not that immature
yellow car drives past
Steph: -punches me- YELLOW CAR NO RETURNS!


Me and Ellie are proper hyper in history
Mr. Wise bends over a bit, infront of me
Me: Check out that ass
Mr. Wise quickly stands straight then trips over a table leg
Ellie: I think he heard you.


Bristol kids right... On msn
Me: I REALLY NEED TO DRAW SOMETHING
Ryan: BOOBIES!
Me: No, in all serious like.
Ryan: My DP! -his dp is the Manson logo- But mix it up.. Like a muller fruit corner.


Outside history with Ellie
Mr Wise walks past
Me: Hi sirrrr.
Sir carries on walking
Me: Dont ans

IMA DO ANOTHER FAT LIST, KAI? ;D
Alphabetical orderrrr.
Underlined Are The Bands I Have Seen
Some Of The Bands I've Seen I Dont Like


AC/DC
Aerosmith
AFI
Aiden
Alien Ant Farm
Alkaline Trio
All American Rejects
All Shall Perish
Alter Bridge
Andrew WK
Amon Amarth
Apocalyptica
Arch Enemy
Atreyu
Audioslave
The Automatic
Avenged Sevenfold
Biffy Clyro
Billy Talent
The Birthday Massacre
Black Sabbath
Black Stone Cherry
Black Tide
The Blackout
Blink 182
Bloodhound Gang
Blue October
Bon Jovi
Boston
Bowling For Soup
Boyce Avenue
Boys Like Girls
Breaking Benjamin
Brian Adams
Bring Me The Horizon
Buckcherry
Bullet For My Valentine
The Butterfly Effect
Celldweller
Chase Coy
Children Of Bodom
Combichrist
Cradle Of Milf Filth
Creed
Cute Is What We Aim For
Cutting Crew
Darren Styles
Dashboard Confessional
A Day To Remember
Deadstar Assembly
Deaf Havana
Deep Purple
Def Leppard
Deftones
Devildriver
Dimmu Borgir
Dio
Dir En Grey
Disturbed
Dope
Dragonforce
Drowning Pool
Eminem
Enter Shikari
Eric Clapton (dont diss)
Escape The Fate
Evanescence
Faber Drive
Fallout Boy
Fightstar
Five Finger Death Punch
Flyleaf
FM Static
Foreigner
Funeral For A Friend
Glamour Of The Kill
Go:Audio
Goldie Lookin' Chain
Goo Goo Dolls
Good Charlotte
Green Day
Groove Coverage
Guns N' Roses
Halifax
Hawthorne Heights
HIM
Hoobastank
I Killed The Prom Queen
In Case Of Fire
In Flames
Innerpartysystem
Iron Maiden
Jack Off Jill
Job For A Cowboy
Kate Nash
Katy Perry
The Killers
Killswitch Engage
Kings Of Leon
KoRn
Lacuna Coil
Limp Bizkit
Linkin Park
The Lonely Island
Lordi
Lostprophets
Lyryrd Skynyrd
Machine Head
Madina Lake
Mastodon
Marilyn Manson
Mark Cohn (again, dont diss)
Maroon 5
Metallica
Michael Jackson
Mindless Self Indulgence
Motley Crue
Mr. Mister
Mudvayne
Murderdolls
Ne-Yo
Newton Faulkner
Nickelback
Nightwish
Nirvana
Panic! At The Disco
Papa Roach
Pendulum
Phil Collins (shup, right?)
Pink
POD
Poets Of The Fall
The Police
Porcelain And The Tramps
Prince
The Prodigy
Puddle Of Mudd
Queen
R Kelly
Rainbow
Rammstein
The Rasmus
Roadrunner United
Rob Zombie
Scars On Broadway
Secondhand Serenade
Seether
Septic Flesh
Shaggy
Shane Ward
Sick Puppies
Skillet
Slayer
Slipknot
Soil
Sonata Arctica
Soulfly
Spandau Ballet
Sting
Stone Sour
System Of A Down
Taking Back Sunday
Tenacious D
Thousand Foot Krutch
Three Days Grace
Three Doors Down
Tokio Hotel
Toto
Trivium
Turisas
Type O Negative
Underoath
The Used
Usher
We Are The Ocean
We The Kings
Wednesday 13
Weezer
Wheatus
Within Temptation
Yellowcard
Young Guns
30 Seconds To Mars
36 Crazyfists