Comedy
Airplane
The General
Bringing up Baby
This is Spinal Tap
Life and Death
Duck Soup
Some Like It Hot
The Producers
The Ladykillers
Dumb and Dumber

ACTION
Hard Boiled
Die Hard
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Fitzcarraldo
Goldfinger
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Adventures of Robin Hood
Seven Samurai
Speed
Wages of Fear

WAR
Apocalypse Now
Saving Private Ryan
The Great Escape
La Grand Illusion
Colonel Blimp
Three Kings
The Dirty Dozen
Spartacus
Das Boot
Schindlers' List

Gangsters/Westers
The Public Enemy
The Godfather
Goodfellas
The Long Good Friday
City of God
The Searchers
Once Upon a Time in the West
Unforgiven
The Wild Bunch *
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Sci Fi and Fantasy
A New Hope
2001: A Space Odyssey
Blade Runner
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Aliens
The Truman Show *
The Fellowship of the Ring
King Kong *
La Belle et Le Béte
Superman (197

Family and Animation
E.T.
To Kill and Mocking Bird
KES
The Night of the Hunter *
The Goonies
It’s a Wonderful Life
The Wizard of Oz
The 400 Blows
Toy Story *
Spirited Away

Drama
Citizen Kane
Raging Bull
Amadeus
Tokyo Story
Paris Texas
Lawerence of Arabia
On the Waterfront
12 Angry Men
The Shawshank Redemption
Touching the Void

Romance/Musicals
Moulin Rough
Singin' in the Rain
Grease
Casablanca
Brief Encounter
Before Sunrise
Annie Hall
The War of the Roses *
Deep Throat
The Graduate

Thrillers
Rear Window
The Silence of the Lambs
Pulp Fiction
Double Indemnity
The Third Man
Heat
JFK
Chinatown
Jaws
The Experiment

Horror
Halloween *
The Exorcist
Bride of Frankenstein
Dawn of the dead
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens
Gremlins
The Fly
Suspiria
The Shining
Audition *

* watched

"Fine": This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but at this point just want you to shut up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes": This is really half an hour. It is equivalent to the "five minutes" that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and for that you should be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling that a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. Nothing usually signifies the beginning of an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."

"Go ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and ultimately end with the word "fine."

"Go ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up," or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will often find a raised eyebrow "go ahead," several minutes later, followed then by "nothing" and "fine," and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

Loud sigh: Though not actually a word, it is still a verbal statement very often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."

Soft sigh: Again, not a word, but nevertheless a verbal statement. Soft sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand: She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breath and she will stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement means trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN‹do not walk‹to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "fine," as she tosses your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually suggests that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie any more to get out of it, or you will get the raised eyebrows "go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

"That's okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's okay" is often used with the word "fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "go ahead." Further alluding to some point in the near future, after she has plotted and planned, when you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance by telling the truth, so be careful, and you may not get a "That's okay."

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say, "You're welcome."

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from the meaning of "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot," when she is actually ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh because she will only tell you "Nothing">

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.