Peter is the head of the Griffin family household. He is one of the most typical males imaginable. He's fat, loves Pawtucket Beer, and is always there for some good physical comedy. Peter used to work at a toy factory and now we're just not sure what he does... here are some of his top quotes!!!

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!

Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."


Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.

Peter: Sometimes it's appropriate to swear
(Peter is in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do........You bastard

(phone rings in house)
Lois: Hello?
Peter: I cant take the trash out today im working late at the office.
Peter: The called ID says your calling from the kitchen. In fact I can see you.
Peter: Can you see me now?
Lois: No.
Peter: Now I am at the office.

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!



Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)
Peter: Oh, oh god, that's right ponies, ponies like food.


A fan of the ladies, Quagmire is Spooner St's resident perv. Quagmire has an unhealthy obsession with Lois, feet, and underage women. Giggity giggity.


Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot

Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

Quagmire: Fat chicks need love too...they just have to PAY!


Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I.
Quagmire: Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity

Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin: No.
Glen Quagmire: Awww right

what the fuck is a blog