Dave Lochhead
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Mężczyzna, 24,
40
- z Aberdeen
- Wyświetlenia: 14 233
- Ostatnio online: 16 tygodni temu
- bebo.gazeta.pl/daveynotinoz
- Ja, o mnie i jeszcze raz ja
- Living in London and working in Newcastle.
- Music and Films
- John Q, Hotel Rwanda, The Constant Gardener, Gladiator. Switchfoot, Coldplay, Casting Crowns, Starfield, Jack Johnson, Shirock, David Crowder Band.
Anchorman, Gone in 60 seconds, Man on Fire, Coach Carter, Enemy of the State. - Sports
- anything with a board. snowboarding, wakebaording and surfing but nothing beats football
- Life in Stages over last few years
- Left school early, went to Uganda for a missions trip for 6 months. Loved it! Went to uni in Glasgow at Strathy doing marketing and finance. Had a summer in Canada working on Vancouver Island at an amazing camp before heading off to oz for 3rd yr of my studies in Perth, Australia. Now finished uni and based out of London.
- Things that make me happy...
- Ben & Jerry's Phish food!
- Quotes
- "He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose" Jim Elliott. -
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Petition to revoke the independence of the United States of America
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Gordon Brown MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.
The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed."
There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).
You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.
While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. Popular British films such as the Italian Job and the Wicker Man should never be remade.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football." There are other types of football such as Rugby, Aussie Rules & Gaelic football. However proper football - which will no longer be known as soccer, is the best known, most loved and most popular. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are awar0 komentarzy 770 dni
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The Official Rules of Shotgun
1. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car
2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey you are automatically given shotgun. You retain this position for the entire journey, unless you violate rules 12, 17, 23 or any other rules stipulating the loss of shotgun.
3. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from all the people who called.
5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi-storey or underground car park!)
6. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
7. Once shotgun has been called the driver has the option of a reload. The driver yells “reload” and this means that all previous calls of shotgun are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat. This is helpful if the driver really doesn’t like the person who first called shotgun. It is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note that a shotgun has only 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.
8. Ja rob rule...if he’s in the car shotgun now means back left, so he cant punch you every time a yellow car goes past.
9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called. This effectively leaves the slowest person to travel in the middle (of the “bitch” seat).
10. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to the front seat of the car as women (ie women don't own the front seat!).
11. If the regular driver of the vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.
12. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road requires their full attention, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to bitch seat.
13. Anyone calling shotgun must have his or her shoes on. This is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on and slowing the journey. This is known as the Shoe Rule.
14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsies and other girly calls!
15. Despite the debate, shotgun CAN be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door, etc).
16. When travelling with a couple, one of the couple MUST shotgun the front. No one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are in the back all over each other.
17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving"). If the passenger does this, then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder.
18. If someone says, "what’s shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
19. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and jams the lock half open so that the driver needs to lock it and unlock it again, the shotgunner forfeits their position. This is known as shotgun suicide.
20. The holder of shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off license nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is in essence the copilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.
21. Automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This law states that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, this person0 komentarzy 822 dni
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Things that you never hear people say in Neighbours
Things that you never hear people say in Neighbours
1. "Hello Stuart, remember when you were blind?" or "hey stuart, your wife is mental, hows that going?"
2. "Hello harold, remember when you died but then Helen Daniels found you in a shop & you were calling yourself 'Ted'?"
or
"Hello harold, remember when you had a stroke and went evil for a while and felt up women in the coffee shop? Cos its a bit like the whole 'I want to kill paul robinson' thing just slightly less sinister"
3. "Lynne, you know how you split up with your husband over the phone? how come he didn't ever come back to the house (which he probably owns) to pick up any of his stuff?"
or
"Lynne, how come you lived in Ramsay Street for absolutely ages before even mentioning that you had a son who played for a Premiership football team in england but was somehow still young enough to return home and restart school?"
4. "Afternoon Lou, did you not used to have a daughter? Are you not bothered that she's just been taken away cos she's not really yours even though you raised her on your own for about 4 years?"
5. "Susan, remember when you banged your head and thought you were a teenager for a bit? That was a bit mental eh?"
6. "Excuse me Susan, you had a FUNERAL for your SHEEP. Get a grip"
7. "Karl, are you superman? You're a GP, a surgeon, a psychiatrist, a mid-wife, musician, neurologist, dermatologist.... "
8. "Howdi Summer, remember you started piano lessons and about 3 days later you got accepted into Australia's most prestigous music school? You must be a fucking genious"
9. "Hello Toadie, remember your Irish best friend Connor, who mysteriously disappeared and now you don't know if he's alive or dead? Do you? Do you actually remember him? Your best friend? It might be nice to mention him once in a while."
10. "Hi Bree, get the fuck off my television screen you fat mess"
1 komentarz 966 dni
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zamknij Komentarze
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Jenna Gillies73 tygodnie temubelow is one of the greatest truths known to man x
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Stuart Duncan73 tygodnie temuDave I look at our friends in common and realise that, apart from Jesus, you are the centre of the christian universe!
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74 tygodnie temu
Jenna Gillies
who is on '3' anyway? thats a terrible decision. 02 have never failed me dave. poorly is not a nice word.....but sometimes quite apt in its description. i look and feel poorly.........my face is pretty grey. you are ill too? oh no. i didnt think flu existed in june...we've both been living a lie- clearly it does and it strikes innocent victims down. good on you for still going to work. i was meant to be in intensive care today so didnt want to kill someone with a rogue sneeze or cough. jen arrived? does she not live in newcastle? or are you back in london? me no understand. or had she gone home? either way- ben folds is the perfect medicine to any illness or poorly state. when i qualify i will give out his cd's to my patients. Glad Gran canaria was fun, despite being a hole. glad jonny loved andy. think the feeling was mutual. at least jonny didnt make him scold his hand in vain....sicko. i cant bring myself to watch daytime tv- bebo seems somehow more productive? xxxxx
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74 tygodnie temu
Jenna Gillies
davie L. i write this from my bed of sickness
sorry for not calling back. i have the voice of a man at the moment and a cough similar to that of a 80 year smoker. not pleasant. wouldnt have wanted to put you through listening to either. how is newcastle? how was your holiday away with the boys?fun times? hope so. def speak soon. Glasgow is good..this is my last week of 4th technically.....got a week off then 4 week placement then off for a month. woooooop woooppp. going to rhodes for 2 weeks with andy for a serious appointment with the sun. cant wait to reeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaa
xxxxxxxxxx. newcastle road trip is still on my to do list. this weekend.......prob a bit too late notice........lets get a date though x -
Jennifer Handforth74 tygodnie temuwait a cotton pickin minute. i thought u were too cool for that
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Jenna Gillies74 tygodnie temu
ok- i've totally missed your birthday and cant even pretend i havnt. when was it? im a fool. im sorry. how are you? xxxx
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Yvonne Donald75 tygodni temuVery nice, well happy belated birthday! What age are you now old man
It's great being home, miss wearing shorts and late night hot tubs and swims after a bbq but having family and friends here beats it
What you doing in Newcastle? x -
Dave Macklin77 tygodni temuDreams are dangerous.... your going to be devastated when it doesn't work out like that !! Indeed, the weather is atrotious, so very little to do.
I just checked a weather forecast which says next 5 days are all sun... bit of wind and max temp of 25c. that not good enough ?? little warmer would be nice though. -
Dave Macklin77 tygodni temu
Do you know what i was thinking about today..... remember our penalty shoot out ? good times......
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Yvonne Donald77 tygodni temu
hello! How are you? I'm now back in the country...are you??! xx
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77 tygodni temu
Jenna Gillies
hey dave. sorry i never made it up this weekend. sad times. did you have fun? how was souled out? hope jen enjoyed it too. look forward to meeting her muchly. when will i next see you? im ignoring all hun / glory hunter comments. i supported the gers through thick and thin. i was looking for so much more than trophies lochhead. so much more. weegville= sunny times. i got sunburnt yesterday infact. things are good. still got 10 weeks left of uni though before summer- how does THAT work? i dont know. a terrible wee thing. andy is very well too
still crying that you didnt drink the tea that burnt his own wee hand. sicko. keep it real, keep it lochhead xxx speak soon
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Lauren Maclaren77 tygodni temuHey luv see you on sunday!x
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78 tygodni temu
Jenna Gillies
can't believe you're dissing the jorvik. that place is magical. anyway- im not sure when we shall be coming...i'd like to come a weekend in june but it's currently littered with hen parties and stag do's (accordingly) but i'll speak to andy later and see if we can secure a date. would love to get the toon experience........i am NOT a rangers fan. in the past my loyalties swayed in a rfc direction, but nowdays i'd rather " stick pins in my eyes" to use a wise mans quote. Hope you and timmy had fun.......are you going back to the deen for souled out next weekend? x
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80 tygodni temu
Jenna Gillies
newcastle will happen soon......BECAUSE........Andy, myself and his friend chris are planning to visit york (based heavily on my p7 school trip to the most amazing viking museum down there) York's kinda close yeah? so we could meet you and we could ALL go get a viking eduction. you can be Thor. amazing. when you back from the cisco? x
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80 tygodni temu
Jenna Gillies
weird facebook photos? expand davie L? san francisco??????!!!! with work? do you actually HAVE G's old job? you're both jammy bandits. how is it out there? san franchizzle. dont know much about it, but give it my love. rainy weegville is SOOOO sunny and hot. i got sunburnt yesterday- so round you x
wow! im super impressed with my first effort...these things take ages to do ay!
Venetia Raines 0 odpowiedzithought you didnt have enough colourful exciting pictures... so this one is to remind you of the most awesomes place down under x
t i'd draw you a little pic as some bird below had drawn an aussie flag. Could to have you back, hope i can see you this year.
. Phillips . 0 odpowiedzi