a man installs a new stereo in his car, it voice activated, so if he says pop, pop music comes on, if he says rock then rock music comes on
one day a group of children slapped da windows on his car, in pure anger he shouted FUCKING KIDS, all of a sudden, gary glitter started playing

someone in the paralympics just tested positive for wd40

do it coz i want u 2
WHAT IS THE SECOND LETTER OF YOUR SURNAME?
A- I ATE..
B- I LICKED..
C- I SAT ON..
D- I PEED ON..
E- I HUMPED..
F- I CHASED..
G- I TACKLED..
H- I SHAT ON..
I- I STALKED..
J- I RAW AWAY WITH..
K- I FELL IN LOVE WITH..
L- I HAD A CRUSH ON..
M- I WANKED OVER..
N- I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH..
O- I PUNCHED..
P- I BIT..
Q- I SCREAMED AT..
R- I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH..
S- I WROTE A LOVE SONG ABOUT..
T- I TIED UP..
U- I HAD 69 WITH..
V- I SUCKED..
W- I POKED..
X- I SLEPT WITH..
Y- I MADE A MOVE ON..
Z- I WENT ON A DATE WITH..

FIND THE SECOND LETTER OF YOUR MIDDLE NAME...

A- A PROSTITUTE..
B- MY TEACHER..
C- GEORGE BUSH..
D- A RAT..
E- A TRAMP..
F- A SHEEP..
G- MY PLUMBER..
H- MY COMPUTER..
I- MY FINGERS..
J- A RABBIT..
K- A LEMMING..
L- AN APPLE..
M- TONY BLAIR..
N- A VIBRATOR..
O- A DILDO..
P- A MOVIESTAR..
Q- MY EX..
R- A BANANA..
S- A CUCUMBER..
T- A TUB OF VASELINE..
U- A PORNSTAR..
V- MY BARBIEDOLL..
W- AN ACTION MAN..
X- SOME CHEESE..
Y- A RANDOM GUY..
Z- SOME RANDOM WOMAN..

NOW FIND THE COLOUR OF THE UNDERWEAR YOU ARE WEARING...

RED- IN A TAXI..
BLUE- IN A BUSH..
GREEN- IN THE BATH..
BLACK- IN MY PARENTS BEDROOM..
WHITE- WHEN I WAS FIVE..
PINK- ON LIVE TV..
BROWN- WHEN I WAS A BABY..
PURPLE- ON THE BUS..
YELLOW- IN A CANDY STORE..
GREY- UNDER A COW..
ORANGE- IN A PIGSTY..
OTHER- BEHIND YOUR SOFA..

NOW FIND YOUR HAIR COLOR...

BLONDE- BECAUSE I WAS HIGH ON COCAINE!
BLACK- BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!
BROWN- BECAUSE IT TURNED ME ON!
GINGER- BECAUSE I'M MAD!
RED- BECAUSE I'M BORED OF THE USUAL!
STRAWBERRY BLONDE- BECAUSE I CAN'T FACE THE FACT THAT I AM GINGER!

NOW WRITE WAT YOU GOT!!

1. Lee
2. Matt W
3. Liz
4. Chelsea
5. Sapphire
6. David
7. Ed
8. Charlotte N
9. Chester
10. Jem
11. Tania
12. megan
13. Nicola
14. Lottie
15. Charlotte A
16. Michael

Q: Have you ever kissed anyone in your top 16
A: yep, more den 1, dey no hu dey r lol

Q: Whats your least favourite thing about number 13
A: she dnt c mi dat often

Q: What's the best memory you have of 9
A: maths lessons wid da legend, paper war

Q: When"s the next time you"re gonna see 4
A: by recent events, probz 2moz or sumtim soon lol luv her reli

Q: Is number 7 pretty
A: hes gorgeous

Q: What was your first impression of number 8
A: shy but easy 2 talk 2 xxx

Q: What do you like most about number 14
A: she can b lively nd stil no her limits xxxx

Q: How did you meet 3
A: thru lee lol, owe him an awful lot 4 dat

Q: Do you think 12 would kill someone
A: if ne1, probz mi lol xx

Q: Is 11 your best friend?
A: nah but a veri gd friend nonetheless xx

Q: How long have you known number 1
A: since secondary skewl nd i will no him till i die

Q: Have you seen 2 naked
A: h8 2 say it but i hav @ barton hall lol, need therapy 4 dat

Q: Do you think 5 has a crush on you?
A: i no she does lol xxx

Q: What is the last thing you did with 8?
A: i had a massive party 4 ma 16th nd saw her den xxx

Q: If you could give anything to number 15 what would it be?
A. life long friendship lol xxx

Q: Would number 2 and number 16 make a good couple?
A: well i dno, netin can happen, 16 is way 2 gd 4 2 tho lol

Q: If number 14 was a crayon, what colour would she/he be?
A: wud say blue as shes chelsea nd she supports da blues lol xxx

Q: Have you ever been to 3"s house?
A: onli on tuesday i was dere lol xxx

Q: Have you ever slept in the same bed as 7?
A: yep im sure i hav on a numba of occasions xx

Q: When"s the next time you"ll see 5?
A: dnt hav a clu, probz soon, havin a piss up wid her nd her m8s xxxx

Q: Are you real close to 10?:
A: i am @ da moment but he aint stayin on, stil hope we will b quite close tho lol

Q: Have you ever kissed 1?
A: im pretty sure i wuda don wen i was pissed, wud neway lol

Q: Have you ever been to the cinema with 6?
A: nope but i wud luv 2 lol

Q: Have you ever been angry with 12:
A: not dat i rememba shes alwaysa gr8 m8 2 mi xxxx

Q: Would you ever make a move on 10!
A: did im sure wen i was pissed, got fotos 2 prove it lol

Q: What do you and number 4 talk about the most?
A: probz lee lol xxx

Q: Do you ever talk to 6?
A: 1 of ma best m8s, wen do i not talk 2 him

Q: What do u think of number 8?
A: shes a wkd gal hu deserves da best xx

Q: Would you ever go out with number 11?
A: yep if i wasnt lukin @ sum1 lse atm

Q: Who do you like most on your Top 16?
A: 3 atm, bin talkin a lot, can rel8 2 her easily, special gal xx

Q: Who would you most like to be with just now out of them all?
A: 3,6,9,10,13,14,15,16, basically everi1 but 3 most

Q: Is number 16 annoying?
A: he is legendary, neva annoyin nd always genuine x