Austalian laws

A life sentence is 25 years.Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them.
You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular.
It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.
Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, a modem can’t pick up on the first ring.
Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk
Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.
The legal age for straight sex is 16, unless the person is in the care/custody of the older person, in which case it is 18.
Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.
It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.
You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.
Until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but not legal to be gay.
Lawmakers are proposing a new law that will not allow anyone to come closer than 100 meters from a dead whale’s carcass.

Germany

Every office must have a view of the sky, however small.
A pillow can be considered a “passive” weapon.
It is illegal to wear a mask.
It is illegal for ones car to run out of gas on the Autobahn.

Canada

Comic books which depict any illegal acts are banned.
Full Text35% of a radio stations content must be “Canadian Content”.
Full TextYou may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.
It is illegal for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.
Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.
Wooden logs may not be painted.You may never use dice to play craps.
If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.When raining, a person may not water his/her lawn.
It is illegal to turn right on a red light at any time.
Margarine producers can’t make their margarine yellow.
All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French.
ExplanationBylaw states that no more than 3.
If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5:00 a.
Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks.
The city is classified as a no-pee zone.The color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine).You can’t work on your car in the street.It’s illegal to climb trees.




- CANADA:
- Pauline M. Marshall offers a couple from her home town in Fort Qu'Appelle Saskatchewan (Canada). (since not all silly, outdated laws are from the US)

1. It is illegal for a teen to walk down main street for Fort Qu'Appelle with their shoes untied.

2. It is illegal to leave your horse in front of the Country Squire (local hotel) without hitching it securely to the hitching post (which was removed yeeeeeaaaars ago).

- UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:

** List of Stupid Laws in the United States **

- Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

- Alaska:
1. It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

- California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

- Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

- Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. M

these are funny jokes that i hav sourced from various places and well go by my motto if you dont lyk it dnt look at it cos ur on this 1 site out of millions and i dnt want u bitching about it.also this may seem lyk i hav sumthing agaisnt darker skinned ppl but i dnt its just i cant find jokes on white ppl

What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!

What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Did you hear the one about . .
. . the baby nigger who went to heaven and got his wings? He said, "God! Look! I'm an angel!", and God said, "No you stupid nigger! You're a bat, now eff off!"

I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods!

Why do blacks have white hands and feet?
They were on all fours when God spray painted them!

Why do black people have white hands?
They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!

Why do black people have white hands?
Everyone has some good in them!

Why do black people have white hands?
It rubs off the cop cars!

Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
They're easier to spot!

What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!

Why are niggers getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting bigger!

What happened to the nigger who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500!



Why don't nigger bitchs wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies away from the chicken!

What's the difference between a truck full of baby niggers and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork!

What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us

What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Beat Us

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think its whale shit!

Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
Thats the last sound they hear before they get hit!

What do they do with dead niggers in California?
Gut them to make wetsuits!

Why does L.A. have so many fags and N.Y. so many niggers?
L.A. had first choice!

What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Against All Caucasian People

What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People

What's the difference between a White owl and a black owl?
The White owl says, "Who! Who!", while the black owl says, "Who dat! Who dat!"

Did you hear about the new black Barbie?
She comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check

What does RAP stand for?
Retarded and poor, Rob and Plunder, Riot and Pound

Why do niggers drive nice cars, but live in crappy houses?
They haven't figured out how to steal a house yet!

What would you do if you had enough money to send half the niggers back to africa?
Send them all back half way

Why do people hit things when they don't work?
It worked with the slaves!

What do you call two niggers in a red sleeping bag?
Kitkat

What do you call a black man in a freezer?
Tough shit!

What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send the letter back where it came from!

What do you call a bunch of niggers neck-deep in mud?
Afro-turf

What do you call a bunch of niggers skydiving?
Air pollution!

What's long and hard on a nigger?
Third grade.

A nigger with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, where did you get that?"
The parrot says, "Africa! There are millions of them over there just sitting around"

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Are Actually Colored People.

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems.

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers, Apes, Aligators, Coons and Possums.

What do you call a nigger waterskiing?
A top-water jig.

How do you keep a nigger from dro

The average American eats 2 donuts a day.

Every minute in the U.S 6 people turn 17.

The average American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat in their lifetime.

A new book is published about every 13 minutes in America during business hours.

Betsy Ross's other contribution to the American Revolution, beside sewing the first American flag, was running a munitions factory in her basement.

America's best selling ice-cream flavor is vanilla.

Americans spend around $3 billion for cat and dog food a year.

Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 American states.

Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%.

The average American will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.