Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it, semen can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.


Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish. Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.


Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal

Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
probably

Who was the last person to call you?
me mam

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
water

When is the last time you cried?
few weeks ago

Are you scared of spiders?
not really

When was the last time you were so drunk you threw up?
i dont usually throw up while drinkin

Do you miss anything?
College and my head not be so wrecked

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
yep defo

What song reminds you of your last bf/gf?
walking on a dream, greatest day

What song reminds you of your current bf/gf?
........

Have you ever gone swimming in a lake or river?
yep

Have you ever been on a horse?
nope

What radio station(s) do you listen to?
spin fm104 2fm 98fm northern sound

Are you afraid of the dark?
no

Are you listening to music right now?
No

Do you like Chinese food?
2much

Do you know your father's birthday?
sorry dad....9th of march mayb!

What is the last movie you saw in theaters? Who with?
Fighting........with luby and nevin romantic

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
damien cooney rip miss ya mate

What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night
said goodnight to a certain someone

What was your childhood nickname?
curly bob

Do you give out second chances too easily?
yessssss

Do you have a best friend?
not really one in particular

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
um i dunno

Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
yeah

Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
yep

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yep

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts?
yeah

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
yeah....wel so im led to believe

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
relationships are ok wen things are good, wud just rather a fuck buddy at the mo

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
no

You ever dated Someone Older Than You?
yeah

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
depends on the situation!

Believe in love at first sight?
not really

Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds?
yeah think so

Can you run in heels​?​
Ohhhh yawwwww

Have you done drugs​ in the past two weeks​?​
alcohol

Who did you last sleep​ in a bed with?​
cossy

Did you do something bad today​?​
not that im aware of

Do you have a bestfriend​ of the opposite sex?
used to be leanne but we've grown apart since school

Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?​
yep, without underware is the real question

What are you doing ​this weekend?​
drinking

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
my sis

Will you be sleeping alone ​tonight?​
prob...but anything can happen

Your last text message is from?​
joy

Did you get any compliments today​?​
not as of yet

Have you kissed more than three​ people in one night​?​
not sure i dont think so

Who did you last tell you love them?​
mammy

Do you get stressed out easily?​
about stupid things yeah

Have you spoken to an ex at all this week?​
yeah

Ever been in love?
yeah

What time do you usually wake up on the weekends?​
10 or 11

Did you wear make-​up today​?​
lol

Who last gave you their​ number?​
michelle h

Where​ did you spend​ most of your time yesterday?​
garage lookin at a car!!

What would you do if...

I committed suicide:
I said I loved you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I was smoking:
I stole something:
I was unable to walk:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

What do you think about my...

Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Clothes:
Body:
Self:

Finally...

Who are you?:
Are we friends?:
When and how did we meet?:
How have I affected you?:
What do you think of me?:
What's the best memory you have of me?: