Man cuts off penis in restaurant

* note * this is kinda funny, sees that 'zizzi' means 'willy' in french

A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London restaurant.
Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.

A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis.


The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin
Zizzi spokeswoman
A spokeswoman for Zizzi said the man was not thought to have any connection with the restaurant.

She said: "At around 9pm on Sunday, a man walked into the Zizzi restaurant on The Strand, down the stairs to the basement restaurant area and tried to enter a kitchen.

"Members of staff stopped him, at which he ran into a second kitchen area.

"The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.

"This happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing for the many customers and staff in the restaurant at the time."

She added: "Apart from the man, we understand that no-one else suffered any physical injuries."

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➢ A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.
➢ Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.
➢ Imagination is the pontoon bridge making way for the timid feet of reason.
➢ There is no shortcut to life.
➢ To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned.
➢ Clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.
➢ Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
➢ Life is largely a matter of expectation. In whatever position you find yourself determine first your objective.
➢ To be like Christ is to be a Christian.
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➢ To be thoroughly c

How a man should treat a woman! Live by this and you will do well!


1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
(Or--if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "You better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then--when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck You" and grab the other girls ass.
Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet...kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things...like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair.
This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say "No, shes not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile...then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. She'll say "No, its just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stop crying you f*cking baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.

22. Titty twisters...and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Two words...Dutch Oven.

25. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you ha