Mr.Blackhall is really really racist...what are you gonna do about it?

If Mr.Blachall does it,ts is not rape,its is assault with a deadly weapon

Macgiver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Mr.Blachall can sleep with Macgivers wife

Mr.Blachalls first name is blackhall,people cahh him mister out of sheer respect


Mr.Blackhall doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

One day while kickin it Blackhall,The big B walked down the road with a massive erection.....there were no survivors


Mr.Blackhall is too gangsta to be black,badly dressed,poor or a rapper

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Mr.Blackhall instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a perfectly groomed moustache

Mr.Blackhall lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1940, the year Mr.Blachall was born, sexual exhaustion related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Mr.Blachall does not ride a bike,its a transformer

Mr.Blackhall invented water.

Mr.Blackhall does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Mr.Blackall does not own a bed,instead he sleeps on a pile of women

Mr.Blachall actually dreeses gangsta,but no one has the balls to copy his devilish style

Mr.Blachall has had your mom.She was lucky to survive

Mr.Blachall can chug 17 liters of whiskey and pass a breathaliser test,as his mighty breath causes the machine to explode (it is also rumoured that it is the cause of the melting ice caps)

Mr.Blackhall likes Sean O'Connor very much

Mr.Blackhall could easily take you

Mr.Blachalls moustache is the main cause of erections in centeral Asia

Mr.Blackhalls moustache is bulletproof

Mr.Blackhall doesnt wear a watch,he decides what time it is

Your puppy didnt run away,Mr.Blackhall killed it

Mr.Blackhall is the reason mousaches are popular in mongolia

Mr.Blackhall is the reason the dinosaurs are extinct

Mr.Blackhall rides his bike through brick walls

Mr.Blachall is the reason people wear suits

Mr.Blackhall has had sex through a brick wall

Mr.Blackhall says "Protected sex is for squares!"

Mr.Blackhalls full name is Motorcycle Danger Blackhall

The "L" in Samuel L Jackson stands for Mr.Blackhall

Mr.Blackhall moving is why the earth spins

Mr.Blackhall spitting was the inspiration for guns,unfortunately they are far less effective

Mr.Blackhalls roundhouse kicks,if perfectly positioned send people back in time,however no one has survived one

Mr.Blachall does not throw things,he is simply letting them go,they shoot away from him out of fear

animals adapt to their surroundings,when birds and fish first saw Mr.Blachall they developed wings and gills,land animals developed claws and teeth,all these things since that day,Mr.Blackall has bettered

Pyramids are made when Mr.Blachall karate chops lesser planets into shapes, dust is made of the same thing

Mr.Blackhall has never stolen anything,except virgintiy

Mr.Blackhall deserves a christmas album,unfortunately his barry white like vocals cannot be heard by humans

Mr.Blackhall eats cryptonite for breakfast,when hes done eating tiles

The reason Mr.Tyrell wore the same suit for two years straight was because one day MR.Blackhall walked by and had said "nice suit"

1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes…girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and roundhouse kick her in the back of the head. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she says she is, say, “You better be!” Hang up. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement. Every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words “[snip] you” and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because i can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when shes cold…and not by giving her your jacket…then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now you’re going to be bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home. Now you can use your arms for more important things, like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then roundhouse kick her. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts……and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what i’m talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say no its just the rain. Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you [snip]ing baby. Girls like a tough man as i’ve already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. She’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday but don’t get her something. Teach her material objects are’nt important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps

The Following are quotes from Kev
Most quotes came from Butters and myself
1)i would never bum a little ducky......never
2)i love me mum
3)me nan bakes ace cakes
4)your all top blokes
5)me nan makes me ace woolies
6)which woolie will i wear today?top bloke? nice bunnies or the lovely duckys?
7)this is Toby,hes me top mate,he bought me a pint once......it tastes like piss
aight birds?..............id love a wank
9)TELLY!
10)I love clifford,theres a well big dog in that
11)why cant i shit in public?
12)thems is bunnies....they like o 'op places they do
13)the dead ones wouldnt play with me
14)champion arses
15)im not insensitive........but that bird IS well fat
16)im not allowed drive since i punched me nan
17) i love TK 3litres and only a pound!
1 you do TK?how much?.......water please
19)theres nothin like a wank whilst im havin me tea
20)theres nothin like a wank at christmas
21)theres nothin like an upside down wank
22)ever wanked under water?.....i have
23) i wouldnt swim over there if i were you and didnt like wankin
24)i wish i could wank all the time.....but sometimes im flospsy mopsy
25)all the live ones ran away........im only bringin it upstairs so i can ride it back down them again
26)captan TK is what theyd call me if i was a captain
27)muuuuuuum......muuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
 uuuuuuuum
2 fuck-nuts
29)me mum has no sack.....no sack atall
30)whats a fanny?
more kev quotes coming soon