Top 16

Q: Have you ever kissed anyone in ur top 16?:
A. Probably

Q. Whats your least favourite thing about number 14?
A. When McLate bes grumpier than me

Q: What"s the best memory you have of 15?
A. The nursing home wall

Q: When"s the next time you"re gonna see 4?
A: Very soon cause teaching practice is over

Q: What was your first impression of number 8?
A. Ugliest we'an ive ever seen

Q. What do admire most about number 13?
A. Shes sound as a pound

Q: How did you meet 3?
A: Bus to the Gaeltacht, what a guy

Q: Do you think 12 would kill someone?
A: Huggy? sure hes saft as shite

Q: Is 11 your best friend?
A: Nope, Jesus is my best friend

Q. How long have you known number 13?
A: Since St Louis, sum wee pup

Q: Have you seen 5 naked?
A. Paddy pig? you bet!

Q: Do you think 2 has a crush on you?
A: I know he does, what a guy also

Q: What is the last thing you did with 8?
A: Watched Tv? i dunno?

Q. If you could give anything to number 15 what would it be?
A. My dong, he loves the dong

Q. Would number 2 and number 16 make a good couple?
A. Higgy and brick? certainly!

Q. If number 9 was a crayon, what colour would s/he be?
A. Multi-coloured, Ciarans a fuckin rubix cube of a cub

Q: Have you ever been to 3"s house?
A: yes and i always dine on fine food at these times

Q: Have you ever slept in the same bed as 6?
A: Turley? Na not yet, theres still time

Q: When"s the next time you"ll see 12?
A: The night, cause hes not on tour, wile ridin to read up

Q: Are you real close to 1?
A: very, i love mick

Q: Have you ever kissed 2
A: too much

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 6?
A: Again no, but theres still time

Q. Whats number 16"s house like?
A. Nice, theres horses and donkeys

Q: Have you ever been angry with 12?
A robably not no

Q: Would you ever make a move on 6?
A: yup, he'd be some sail

Q: What do you and number 4 talk about the most?
A: Sex. Pure dirt and more sex

Q: Do you ever talk to 6?
A: Sporadically, we meet in random places

Q: What do u think of number 2?
A: Hes a stone cold fox

Q: Why do you love number 10?
A: hmmmmmm this is a set up of a thing

Q: Have you ever had a relationship with number 16?
A: no, me and brick keep it casual

Q: When did you last see number 15?
A: Sunday down in the Duke, smacked out, what?

How many people in you top 16 have you...

Slept in the same bed as? 12

Had in your house? 16

Been in their house? 16

Seen naked? 11 not including my family

Got drunk with? Every single one of them sur

"... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, i'll tell ye a little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman would ye?' To which,the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... he had both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet..."

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you down - his people are undertakers"

"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of the field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, its a goal. So much for religion."

Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery.

"1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in any man's language".

"Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now ... but here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"

"I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary, sponsored by a water company. Cork Sponsored by a tae company. I wonder will they meet later for afternoon tae."

"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"

"Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't he done well"

"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50......he's on the 40......he's on the 30..........................he's on the ground"

"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they played with the ball".

"He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a point.............it went wide."

"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of 12......all but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home minding the house.....and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce...."

"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide..... and the dog lost as well

"Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold

"Teddy McCarthy to Mick McCarthy, no relation, Mick McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation "