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File: 0DC56932-00043Z
Date: 2 June 2004
Subject: Sciuto, A.
Classification: Confidential **Director's Eyes Only**
Prepared by: NCIS Special Agent Bernard Ellis

EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT FILE

NAME: Abigail "Abby" Sciuto

KNOWN ALIASES: HeLrAiSer32, Miss-Cold-Ember, B2Killerzs, Cyberskank1982, Deathstlker49, Vamperstein8782.

AGE: Late twenties.

TATTOOS: As of yesterday, 1900 hours, nine.

PREVIOUS LAW ENFORCEMENT EXPERIENCE: Arrested 5 June, 1990 Los Angeles, Indecent Exposure, Rolling Stones Concert. Suspected of hacking into numerous private and corporate databases--never proven.

EDUCATION: Triple Major at LSU--Sociology, Criminology and Psychology. Graduated with full honors. Master's Degree from Georgia State University in Criminology and Forensic Science, graduated with honors.

WORK HISTORY: Worked at a local funeral home in New Orleans, Louisiana all four years of high school.

Subject reports she became interested in Forensics because her family lived near a wrecking yard. She would examine the most gruesome car wrecks and try to imagine what happened. She states "Action, reaction, the science of the whole thing, I got hooked."

**NOTE: Within the first ten minutes of the interview the Subject asked me if I ever had sex in a coffin…No, I'm not making that up.

SPECIAL SKILLS: Materials analysis, ballistics, computer science, blood and tissue analysis, American Sign Language [ASL], perfume making, ground penetrating radar operator, DNA analysis, reptile and rodent pet care.

CURRENT OCCUPATION: NCIS FORENSIC SPECIALIST
Time in Service [TIS] Five years

PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION: Subject has an unusual attraction to the unnatural. She is known to take photographs of injuries, develop them in neon colors and hang them on her lab walls.

**NOTE: She has actually had gallery interest in a print entitled "shotgun brain splatter - a really still life".

Subject dresses in "Goth" attire, including numerous piercings, tattoos, body jewelry and wears homemade perfume that smells of gunpowder. She also appears to fear direct contact with sunlight.

**NOTE: Once again…I am not making this up.

Despite her atypical appearance (to the law enforcement community) she is undeniably competent at her job and enjoys her work. Her unrelentingly cheerful demeanor [though refreshing] may hint at an undocumented drug problem. Recommend she be tested for substance abuse as soon as it's convenient.

It is also possible that her behavior is a reaction, in part, to her parents, who were both deaf.

**NOTE: It's this interviewer's personal opinion that she was most likely born this way. It happens.

MEDICAL EVALUATION: Besides the obvious pallor of her skin, the examining Physician reports her to be in fine physical shape. Her drug screen also came back…completely clean.

**NOTE: I recommend we send her urine to another lab. It never hurts to be certain.

Physician also recommends that she curtail her consumption of CAFF-POW! a super caffeinated soda that has been linked to cancer and heart attacks in several laboratory mice.

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: Abby's romantic involvements appear to be many and varied, from needy gemologists to nerdy NASA engineers. She believes that dating older men is a sign of maturity. Subject once had a relationship with sixty-five-year-old Biology Professor for the stated goal of acquiring movie discounts.

Subject currently is involved in an "on again, off again" relationship with Special Agent Timothy McGee, a recent transfer from Norfolk Naval Station.

She seems to be well liked by her co-workers in spite of her [or perhaps because of her] irregular lifestyle.

TROUBLESOME FOOTNOTE: I'd have to go with…everything.

Special Agent Ziva David: [a cat bursts through the cat door, scaring Tony]
Don't tell me you're afraid of a little pussy...

[realizing her choice of phrase]

Special Agent Ziva David: Cat, Tony.

UNDER COVERS

Tony: We really should take you to see the doctor sweet cheeks.

Ziva: Why is that?

Tony: Because you snore like a drunken sailor with empharsema.

SKELETONS

Abby: (holding out a dollar bill and a candy bar) Give me a
dollar

McGee: Okay... What's wrong with that one?

Abby: The machine wouldn't take it, and I want a candy bar!

McGee: What's wrong with that candy bar?

Abby: It has nougat in it.

McGee: But, you hate nougat.

Abby: I know! It was a mistake McGee!

Ziva: What is nougat?

Tony: It's whipped dolphin fat!

FRAME -UP

Gibbs: Ass kissing on the hill is a skill.

Jenny: So is castration.

Gibbs: I wear a cup.

Ziva: And women don't appreciate being called 'baggy bunnies'.