At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many nights just waiting for a man that long,That I
grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on...

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry! I should
have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now - go, ! Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4! Weren't you a
brat to think I wouldn't find you out!? Don't you know we're only
joking when we say that size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Coz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handfull of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Coz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handfull of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

Send this to all the cool chicks out there and all of the men who can
handle this new remix..!!!

1. Men are like .. Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas ........ The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ..... Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ..... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like . Popcorn ....... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ....... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

> Please come here, - C'mere I want ya.
> My runners smell, - Naful smill auf me tackies
> Sorry I didn't quite catch that, - Oi wat ar u sayin.
> I was slightly drunk, - I was langers last nite.
> How are you ! - How's it goin sham !
> You silly person - Ya goul ya
> You really are a silly person - Ya goul bag.
> I'm afraid that I can't go for that, - I will en me ring
> Let's go out and get drunk - will we go on the batter?
> May I have a bag of chips with garlic dressing - givus a garlic chipancheese
> You unlawful person - fuckin' scobe
> There was quite a lot of people - there was a rake of people
> Running up the street - burnin' up the road
> Will you make love to me - gifs the ride
> Do you understand me - nowah mean man
> I will fight you - i'll claim ya
> Theres a swimming pool in the house - poolnalnit
> Please leave now - goway ou avit
> Run away now - do a legger man
> Have you got a cigarette - giz a fag boss
> Be quiet - whishtt
> Can you ride a horse - canya jock a horse
> Hello, I met you before in a pub but I can't remember your name -
How we doin Bud.....
> Sorry, I didn't quite catch that - whatru sayin.....
> How are you doing - Well, ow we gettin on
> You are a silly person - u lala
> You really are a silly person - your some lala
> Jennifer, would you come here please - Jen-Fer cmere i
> wan cha
> Lets drive up and down O'Connell Street in our Johnny Go Fast cars at
3.30am with the 1 petrol we have in the car - mon, we go cruisin'.
> If you continue to talk to me in that tone of voice I will hit you
-cape it up now and I'll bust you.
> I can't think of anything to slag you about, but your last comment
was very funny and everyone is now laughing at me - yah, like ur muther!!