Allow me to introduce myself. My name, or as I am called by so called "doctors", is Anorexia. Anorexia Nervosa is my full name, but you may call me Ana. Hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time, I will invest a lot of time in you, and I expect the same from you. In the past you have heard all of your teachers and parents talk about you. You are "so mature", "intelligent", "14 going on 45", and you possess "so much potential". Where has that gotten you, may I ask? Absolutely no where! You are not perfect, you do not try hard enough, further more you waste your time on thinking and talking with friends and drawing! Such acts of indulgence shall not be allowed in the future.

Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look....fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not" you knew they were lying! Only I tell the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.

But I am about to change all that. I will expect you to drop your calorie intake and up your exercise. I will push you to the limit. You must take it because you cannot defy me! I am beginning to imbed myself into you. Pretty soon, I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and run to the scale. The numbers become both friend and enemy, and the frenzied thoughts pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay. You prod and poke at the fat that is there, and smile when you come across bone. I am there when you figure out the plan for the day: 400 calories, 2 hours exercise. I am the one figuring this out, because by now my thoughts and your thoughts are blurred together as one. I follow you throughout the day. In school, when your mind wanders I give you something to think about. Recount the calories for the day. It's too much. I fill your mind with thoughts of food, weight, calories, and things that are safe to think about. Because now, I am already inside of you. I am in your head, your heart, and your soul. The hunger pains you pretend not to feel is me, inside of you.

Pretty soon I am telling you not only what to do with food, but what to do ALL of the time. Smile and nod. Present yourself well. Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! God, you are such a fat cow!!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything...if you eat, all the control will be broken...do you WANT that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect skinned, white teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are. When you look in the mirror, I will distort the image. I will show you obesity and hideousness. I will show you a sumo wrestler where in reality there is a starving child. But you must not know this, because if you knew the truth, you might start to eat again and our relationship would come crashing down.

Sometimes you will rebel. Hopefully not often though. You will recognize the small rebellious fiber left in your body and will venture down to the dark kitchen. The cupboard door will slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food that I have kept at a safe distance from you. You will find your hands reaching out, lethargically, like a nightmare, through the darkness to the box of crackers. You shove them in,

1. First thing you wash in the shower? hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yesh
4.Do you plan outfits? Kinda
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? sad and annoyed
6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my tie
7. Do you say msn or messenger? msn
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I was sitting on a table crying and then someone pushed me off it
9. Did you meet anybody new today? Nope
10. What are you craving right now? A hug
11. Do you floss? No
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cucumber
13. When was the last time you talked on msn? Around 3 seconds ago
14. Are you emotional? Sha
15. Would you dance to the taco song? ...yawha?
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? probably
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick
18. Do you like your hair? Yep!
19. Do you like yourself? Haha, no
20. Ever met someone famous? Nope
21. Do you like cottage cheese? No
22. What are you listening to right now? Concrete angel
23. How many countries have you visited? a few
24. Are your parents strict? dad is
25. Would you go sky diving? Yeah!
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Can i poison him?
27. Would you throw potatoes at him? yup
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? Glitter!
29. Have you ever been in a castle? yup
30. Do you rent movies often? Not really, no
31. Who sits in behind you in your math class? Hugh i think?
32. Have you made a prank phone call? yep!
33. Do you own a gun? No
34. Can you count backwards from 74? Yesh!
35. Who are you going to be with tonight? No one
36. Brown or white eggs? white
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? No
38. Ever been on a train? a few times
39. Ever been in love? yes
40. Do you have a cell-phone? No, as i'm not american! I have a MOBILE phone
41. Are you too forgiving? Yeah
42. Do you use chap stick? When I have some
43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? mocks
44. Can you use chop sticks? Sorta
45. Ever have cream puffs? Yep
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yawha?
47. What was the last question you asked? "what is your problem?"
48. What was the last CD you bought? I'm not sure
49. Boys or girls? boys
50. What is your bus number for school? Eh, no
51. Is your hair curly? wavy
52. Last time you cried? 10mins ago?
53. Ever walked into a wall? yup
54. Do looks matter? Nopers
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? no
56. Have you ever slapped someone? Yesh!
57. Favorite time of the year? when its all rainy and thundery
58. Favorite color? purple
59. Are you sarcastic? No! Of course not! *sarcasm*
60. Do you have any tattoos? Nope
61. The last person you held hands with? Emmm, I dunno
62. Do you sleep with the TV on? Occasionally
63. Where was your default picture taken at? Where i am now

Things that annoy me
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where
my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I
ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel
manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser,
I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice
there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image
I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert
the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger,
just a Chicken burger gets blank looks...........Well I'll have a McStraw
and jam it in your McEyes you fucking Mcfag.

14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.